Weddings with a Twist #TwitterLoveWed

non-traditional, bridalHoly crap. I am a married woman and the world didn’t end. After my experience, I’m a big proponent of weddings with a twist…or two. That’s what we did…we put our personalities into the traditions and had fun while getting married.

Honestly, I had the time of my life. Yes, it was a bit of a blur, but I tried to enjoy every moment. The ceremony was really fast, but there were moments when I kept thinking to myself as the pastor (or whatever he was) performed the ceremony, “This guy is still talking. Why is he talking?”

I didn’t wear white. I wore a lovely turquoise and of course, my tiara. What better reason to wear a tiara?

Aside from the fact that the ceremony started almost half an hour late because the pastor dude was stuck in traffic (likely story), it went off without a hitch. Pun intended?

We wanted the experience to be a reflection of our personalities…not so much tradition. For processional music, Paul walked in to the Minnesota Rouser (insert Ski-U-Mah here), my bridesmaids walked in to Gimme Some Lovin’ by the Spencer Davis Group, and I came down the aisle to Best of My Love by the Emotions.

The moment I saw Paul at the altar, tears sprang to my eyes.  The love I have for him is overwhelming. He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever met. I am the luckiest woman on earth to have found him. We have so much fun together and our wedding was no different.

After what seemed like a never ending photo session (our photographer was wonderful though) rife with Zoolander references, we finally arrived at the reception, the event I’d looked forward to the most.

We had it at this Italian restaurant in the Forum Shops, Carmine’s.  Did I mention that we got married at Caesars? And it’s plural not possessive.  I read somewhere that the guy who started the hotel wanted everyone to feel like a Caesar or something like that.

Regardless, this is the part where our personalities really shined through.  I wanted everyone to be relaxed and have a good time. There was plenty of booze and food. As you can see from the photos, I made photo props to encourage others to take selfies with their phones and share them on instagram, facebook, or whatever their favorite social media platform might be.  Plus, I created a hashtag to be able to find the posts and photos.

I had intended to post more thoughts and funny photos on the Twitter using the hashtag, but I was having so much fun in reality that I didn’t have time to share it virtually.

Even though it might not have been as many tweets and posts as I’d liked, I’m glad I shared the video of the ceremony and photos to social media.  I know some of our friends and family who weren’t at the ceremony enjoyed the things they did see.

I’m glad we had a small wedding. I was able to visit with everyone and made sure I took photos with everyone too. If you look up the hashtag on the Twitter, you should be able to find most of my photos and probably a few shares of this post as well.

An evil wedding registry? Honeymoons vs gifts

HoneymoonRegistryOne thing I’ve realized from reading various wedding websites is that everything outside the norm is controversial.  And if you don’t have your etiquette down to a T, you’re an awful, awful person who probably kicks kittens for fun.

Seriously, people need to calm the hell down.

We’ve done something that might cause a few of the more traditional folks to gasp in disgust.  We’ve got a honeymoon registry.

Yeah, we’re horrible people.

The thing is…we don’t need more STUFF.  We just spent two months purging our apartment of stuff that we’ve had for years.  We don’t need china…we have no where to put china nor any real use for it.  We don’t need a waffle iron.  We aren’t huge eaters of waffles and don’t get sad because we can’t have waffles whenever we want them.

What we would like more of are memories.  Like the ones we’ll have on our honeymoon…get your mind out of the gutter!

Really, this honeymoon registry thing is very cool.  You basically tell your folks what you plan to do and how they can help fund it.  They can buy you a dinner or passes to a museum…maybe you’d like a spa treatment?  Put it on the registry!

It’s also great if you are having a destination Vegas…because then no one has to travel with gifts…like us.

You can take a look at ours right here.  We used Travel’s Joy and so far, I really like it. And no, I don’t expect you to give us a gift.

I had fun with it because it was a creative writing exercise for me.  It was a little odd trying to figure out how much stuff cost, but thankfully we have the internet for that now.

The problem people have with this type of registry is that it’s like we’re begging for money.

Honestly, we didn’t put anything on there we can’t afford to buy for ourselves.  It’s not like we’re asking our friends & family to send us to Europe for a month, first class all the way.  We’re just going to see some sites and have some food.  And we don’t expect to get everything on the list.  We just tried to make a variety of price points available.

Non-traditional wedding, bridal stuff

budget, Las Vegas, engagementIf you haven’t heard by now, I am engaged to be married.  Yes, I am a fiancee, a bride to be. The thing is, I hate weddings. I like the idea of being married, but the hub-bub necessary to get to that point freaks me out.

Before I even met, Paul, I had decided that if I ever do get married, we’re having a small wedding in Las Vegas.  I don’t even know 100 people I’d invite to a party, much less have the means to pay for such a huge shindig.  Personally, I’d rather spend that money on a trip or a down payment on a house, or both.

Aside from the monetary issue, there is the stress issue. I don’t need unnecessary stress in my life and I don’t want to get stressed out about becoming Paul’s wife and Paul becoming my husband.

Brace yourself, I will probably be writing about this adventure even though I’m trying to make it as easy and go with the flow as possible.

First off, don’t ask about the engagement ring.  Personally, I got turned off by them when I found out in college that  they were pretty much created by a diamond company to artificially inflate the diamond market. There’s an example of marketing well done.

However, if Paul has his heart set on giving me one, I will accept it. I’m not a fool and it would make him happy.  We’ve already booked the ceremony and our flights for our trip to Vegas and subsequent honeymoon, so a ring is just a formality.  We are engaged to be married because we have been discussing it for months and came to a meeting of the minds on it.

Technically, we didn’t get engaged on Christmas. We just announced it on Facebook that day.

The first time Paul brought up marriage was when he surprised me for Valentine’s Day and unexpectedly showed up at my door in California.  The next day we went to the Golden Bear for lunch and while I was eating a grilled cheese sandwich, he asked me what I thought about getting married.  He wasn’t proposing, but more like feeling out the situation.  I told him that I was on board with whatever he suggested…or something like that.

Basically, the marriage question was out there and both of us were on the same page. We’ve been planning the wedding since I moved to the Twin Cities.

After living with him for 8 months, my mind has not changed. I am more in love with him today than I was the day he came to Sacramento to pick me up and take me to Minnesota.

Thankful: My parents are awesome!

Today was insane. Moving is awful. Well, awfully stressful. It’s even more so when your stuff is 1,500 miles away and you are trying to coordinate its move.

Luckily, I have been blessed with wonderful parents.

I had arranged for the movers to come on Wednesday. All of the paperwork was complete.  We were just waiting for a time to have my parents open up the storage unit so they could load up the truck.

I get a call this morning…the movers were on the their way…


Frantically, I call my mom. She can’t go. She has an appointment, but luckily, my dad was free.  He raced over…to wait.

I gave him the phone number of the movers since they had acted like they would be there at any moment. It would be easier for him to just call directly than have me be a messenger, screwing up information because my stress level was going through the roof.

The movers had the wrong address.

They finally showed up after about 15 minutes when correct information was given. But, they didn’t have the stickers.

WHAT? Ugh.

My dad had to wait another 20 minutes with the truck half loaded for someone to deliver the stickers.  He’s great, isn’t he? It gets better…

Since there had been two screw ups, he made sure things were going to go right.  He made sure everything had a sticker. He made sure they had my correct address in the Twin Cities. He did the things I would have done had I been there.

Mostly, I was stressed out because my parents were being put out.  I know they are happy to help me, but I hate having them do something I am fully capable of doing.  They saved me stress, time away from work and an airfare.

Both of my parents had taken time out of their days over the past month or so just to make sure my stuff would get to me in a few weeks, whether it be packing up various items that seemed to free themselves of their boxes or just to open a door to let in a mover to assess my belongings or simply move them.

I definitely need to do something nice for them. The question is what? I’m sure I’ll find the answer somewhere on the internet.

Relationship Firsts: An anniversary

KeychainFor the first time in my life, I am celebrating a dating anniversary. No, this isn’t one of those, “We’ve been together for a month, so let’s Facebook it to death, schmoopie” things. One year ago on August 31st, I met the man of my dreams. I can still remember seeing him come down the escalator at the airport. I think that’s the moment I fell in love.

For those who have read my blog, you know that Paul and I met through Twitter. For those too lazy to click through the links, we chatted for a year before he jumped on a plane and flew half way across the country to visit a woman he’d only known digitally.

Sometimes in life you have to take what seems like a huge risk.  Love and logic don’t always go together. In fact, I’m pretty sure they live in different worlds.

The last year of my life has seen many, many changes, not just the time zone in which I live.  I’ve actually been in an adult relationship for a year! YAY! Miracles do happen!

If you are feeling down about your dating life, I have this one piece of advice: Have hope. I truly believe there is someone out there for everyone.

Like I’ve said before, I cannot tell you anything else because most relationship advice is bunk.  People show up in your life when you are looking for them. I was looking for a boyfriend and finally found Paul. There’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t need a coach. People hook up (or get married) all the time who have had no training and fewer IQ points.  It’s probably just a timing issue.

I know I got lucky with Paul.  He’s a real live grown up like me. As you can see from the Valentine’s Day post, he’s also a “romance ninja!” I am thankful for him every day.

I still can’t believe I’m living with him in Minnesota. It’s amazing. I’m in love with this awesome guy and get to hang out with him every day! And he loves me and has just as much fun with me.

We’re still in that “honeymoon” phase. I hate that saying. It makes me think that this wonderful feeling of being in love will just disappear.  I think it will just deepen.

I hope, a year from now, I’m still randomly kissing his cheek because I feel like it. I hope, a year from now, we are still laughing at silly inside jokes about cat breakfast and paleo dog food. I hope, a year from now, we are looking for Peanuts Statues around the Twin Cities. I hope, a year from now, we are still holding hands while sitting on the couch.

Movie Review: Austenland

movie, swagAt BlogHer13, I was lucky enough to see a special screening of Austenland. Being a fan of Jane Austen, I was so excited to see this movie. First of all, the reason I enjoyed this movie was Jennifer Coolidge. She has some great ridiculous lines.

The movie is pretty much a chick flick, but you kind of know that going in.  The whole time I kept trying to find plot comparisons between the movie and an Austen novel.

Don’t go into this movie looking for something deep. Go into it looking for a light piece of entertainment.

Basically, it’s about a single woman in her 30s who is obsessed with all things Jane Austen. She’s not exactly thrilled with her life, so she spends her life savings on a trip to Austenland, a resort in England that takes you back to the Regency period and all of its mannerisms. They even have actors who will romance you right up to the big ball on the last evening of the excursion.

It was a little slow to start, but if you can get past the cliches, it is a pretty good movie. It’s not a tear jerker. It’s not an action thriller. It’s a light, escape.

Equality for all: Single does not equal broken

americana, USA, flag, independenceIn light of the recent developments in marriage equality, I’d like to address the concerns of single people.

There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with being single. I’m sick and tired of society pressuring everyone to couple up as quickly as possible and if they don’t (or can’t) then they are obviously broken.

I’ve seen the most fucked up individuals in relationships. Seriously, these people need (and were not getting) psychological help. They were mentally abusive to whoever they were currently married to or dating. But, they are regarded as normal when compared to a woman over 30 who is single and childless.

I just got an email from a PR company about a new book that came out about one woman’s dating adventures. No, it’s not mine. This sentence in the email set me off: “Sarah was celebrating her 33rd year on the planet when she realized something alarming: it was her ninth consecutive birthday without a boyfriend…”

First of all, in the 39 years I’ve been on this planet, I’ve only had TWO birthdays during which I had a boyfriend. And yes, while being single was a source of pain for me, it wasn’t because I wanted to hurry up, get married and have babies (PANIC! ALARM!). I was simply lonely. I wanted a companion.

Second of all, if a man over the age of 21 goes nine birthdays without a significant other, no one even blinks.

Here are the only things that I know are true about being single:

  • Odds are you are doing nothing wrong.
  • Odds are it’s just not the right time yet (as maddening as that statement is). The universe works in mysterious ways.
  • Self-help books are not helpful for dating. They can help you feel better about yourself, but they won’t find a date for you on Friday night or something a little more lasting.
  • There’s nothing wrong with being single. You have a shitton of freedom.
  • It’s better to be single than in a bad relationship (even though society says otherwise).

Can we as a society just calm the hell down and let people be single without pressuring them into relationships?

Can we also stop pressuring people to marry so damn early? When I was in my early to mid 20s, I was an idiot. I knew I was an idiot. I felt like I was still 18 until I was about 30. The more grown up a person is when they do get married and have babies, the better chance they will have of staying married. And that of course is based on tons of scientific research…known as common sense.