Relationship Firsts: An anniversary

KeychainFor the first time in my life, I am celebrating a dating anniversary. No, this isn’t one of those, “We’ve been together for a month, so let’s Facebook it to death, schmoopie” things. One year ago on August 31st, I met the man of my dreams. I can still remember seeing him come down the escalator at the airport. I think that’s the moment I fell in love.

For those who have read my blog, you know that Paul and I met through Twitter. For those too lazy to click through the links, we chatted for a year before he jumped on a plane and flew half way across the country to visit a woman he’d only known digitally.

Sometimes in life you have to take what seems like a huge risk.  Love and logic don’t always go together. In fact, I’m pretty sure they live in different worlds.

The last year of my life has seen many, many changes, not just the time zone in which I live.  I’ve actually been in an adult relationship for a year! YAY! Miracles do happen!

If you are feeling down about your dating life, I have this one piece of advice: Have hope. I truly believe there is someone out there for everyone.

Like I’ve said before, I cannot tell you anything else because most relationship advice is bunk.  People show up in your life when you are looking for them. I was looking for a boyfriend and finally found Paul. There’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t need a coach. People hook up (or get married) all the time who have had no training and fewer IQ points.  It’s probably just a timing issue.

I know I got lucky with Paul.  He’s a real live grown up like me. As you can see from the Valentine’s Day post, he’s also a “romance ninja!” I am thankful for him every day.

I still can’t believe I’m living with him in Minnesota. It’s amazing. I’m in love with this awesome guy and get to hang out with him every day! And he loves me and has just as much fun with me.

We’re still in that “honeymoon” phase. I hate that saying. It makes me think that this wonderful feeling of being in love will just disappear.  I think it will just deepen.

I hope, a year from now, I’m still randomly kissing his cheek because I feel like it. I hope, a year from now, we are still laughing at silly inside jokes about cat breakfast and paleo dog food. I hope, a year from now, we are looking for Peanuts Statues around the Twin Cities. I hope, a year from now, we are still holding hands while sitting on the couch.

Equality for all: Single does not equal broken

americana, USA, flag, independenceIn light of the recent developments in marriage equality, I’d like to address the concerns of single people.

There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with being single. I’m sick and tired of society pressuring everyone to couple up as quickly as possible and if they don’t (or can’t) then they are obviously broken.

I’ve seen the most fucked up individuals in relationships. Seriously, these people need (and were not getting) psychological help. They were mentally abusive to whoever they were currently married to or dating. But, they are regarded as normal when compared to a woman over 30 who is single and childless.

I just got an email from a PR company about a new book that came out about one woman’s dating adventures. No, it’s not mine. This sentence in the email set me off: “Sarah was celebrating her 33rd year on the planet when she realized something alarming: it was her ninth consecutive birthday without a boyfriend…”

First of all, in the 39 years I’ve been on this planet, I’ve only had TWO birthdays during which I had a boyfriend. And yes, while being single was a source of pain for me, it wasn’t because I wanted to hurry up, get married and have babies (PANIC! ALARM!). I was simply lonely. I wanted a companion.

Second of all, if a man over the age of 21 goes nine birthdays without a significant other, no one even blinks.

Here are the only things that I know are true about being single:

  • Odds are you are doing nothing wrong.
  • Odds are it’s just not the right time yet (as maddening as that statement is). The universe works in mysterious ways.
  • Self-help books are not helpful for dating. They can help you feel better about yourself, but they won’t find a date for you on Friday night or something a little more lasting.
  • There’s nothing wrong with being single. You have a shitton of freedom.
  • It’s better to be single than in a bad relationship (even though society says otherwise).

Can we as a society just calm the hell down and let people be single without pressuring them into relationships?

Can we also stop pressuring people to marry so damn early? When I was in my early to mid 20s, I was an idiot. I knew I was an idiot. I felt like I was still 18 until I was about 30. The more grown up a person is when they do get married and have babies, the better chance they will have of staying married. And that of course is based on tons of scientific research…known as common sense.

This Friendship is Brought to You by the Letter I (for Internet)

Me & Katey at Krolls Diner

Me & Katey at Krolls Diner.

As most of you know, I met my boyfriend through Twitter. What you might not know is that most of the friends I’ve made over the last seven years have been due to the internet.

My blog was the first way I found people. I would comment on other blogs in an effort to drive traffic to mine, but as a byproduct, I actually met some people in real life. Katey is one of those people. I first met her in real life at BlogHer ’11. I went there completely alone, but met up with her and four other gals who had a group blog called The Peevery. They were just as awesome in real life as they had been on the internet.

Before our meeting in real life, we had only commented on blogs and then when Twitter became a thing, we tweeted at each other. Now, we mostly tweet and Facebook.

Over the weekend though, I had the opportunity to have lunch with Katey and her fiancé, Chris, while passing through North Dakota.

"Sit down und eat!"

“Sit down und eat!”

How insane is that? It’s really interesting how the universe works. One day I’m sitting on my couch in California, lonely and frustrated because I’d just been dumped. So, I signed up for BlogHer. Two years later, I’m sitting in a German themed diner in the Midwest with my boyfriend and Katey and Chris. Never would have I believed you if you’d told me that such an occurrence would happen. Mostly, I wouldn’t have believed that I would finally have an awesome boyfriend.

The internet is a powerful tool. My life would not be the same without it.

The micro-blogging site that changed the world…

Seven years ago today, a site launched that would change my life. 18 months later I would find out about it and sign up. I learned about Twitter at work. I was reading some article about marketing and the author mentioned this new micro-blogging site that was starting to take off.

At first, I didn’t get it. As you can see from my very first tweet…it wasn’t interesting.

The tweet that started it all.

The tweet that started it all.

Eventually, Twitter became another creative writing outlet for me. In this ADD world, it was perfect. The thoughts that crowded my mind would quickly find an escape. Not all of my thoughts were lengthy enough for a blog post, but they needed to be expressed. I’d already been blogging for three years at that point, but my creativity was always yearning for another outlet.

What I didn’t know then was that in 3 and a half years, I would meet the love of my life through Twitter.

At first, I followed people whose blogs I read. I’d regularly commented on them, but Twitter let me interact with them in almost real time. Eventually, I started following whoever they were following because their retweets were interesting. Through the course of my online life, I gathered more people to follow and who followed me.

One of those people lead me to Paul. I still remember the day I started following him. His profile and his tweets called to something in me. We seemed to have the same outlook on so many things, the same sense of humor…Plus, I liked the picture of the gopher he used in his avatar.

It was at tweetups that I made the conversion of online friends to friends in real life. It still amazes me that if you interact with someone on Twitter enough, you will get the gist of how they are in real life. And they only have 140 characters to get their point across.

So, here’s to you, Twitter. Thank you to those people who invented you and keep you running. I’m moving to Minnesota next month to live with Paul and it’s all your fault that I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

A Monster of a Time

Sometimes the universe aligns in a strange, yet interesting way. Background: Most Friday nights I spend with my parents. Most of those Friday nights are spent shopping at the Costco in Folsom and then dinner afterwards at Islands. My youngest nephew is obsessed with monster trucks.

Tonight, for reasons unbeknownst to me, my sister and her two boys joined me and my parents on our usual routine.

Things went as you’d expect with 6 year old and almost 3 year old boys in your entourage. Actually, they were pretty well behaved. No one melted down, miraculously.

As we were leaving the parking lot of the shopping center, my dad spotted an anomaly, a giant school bus with huge CalTrans lights shining on it.

It was the Monster Kool Bus.

Monster Truck School Bus

This bus is insane looking. It’s like 13 feet tall and the boys were drooling over its power. They were offering rides and of course, my nephews had to ride it. Plus it was for a good cause. They are raising money for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.

Multipe Sclerosis

It was only a few minutes, but how often do you get to ride around in a vehicle doing donuts in the Sam’s Club parking lot and not get chased off the property?

It looks like a local guy owns the big yellow monster bus. I perused the website www.monsterkoolbus.com and most of the past events were in Northern California. I think the guy said he gets 1/2 mile to the gallon, so his range of events is probably limited. The guys manning the vehicle were very personable. They seem to genuinely enjoy what they do. They even let me get on the bus and take a few photos.

Inside Monster Bus

I stayed behind and shot this video:

The Monster Kool Bus will be up in Folsom until March 6th, so there’s still time to get your adrenaline up and donate to a good cause.