A Monster of a Time

Sometimes the universe aligns in a strange, yet interesting way. Background: Most Friday nights I spend with my parents. Most of those Friday nights are spent shopping at the Costco in Folsom and then dinner afterwards at Islands. My youngest nephew is obsessed with monster trucks.

Tonight, for reasons unbeknownst to me, my sister and her two boys joined me and my parents on our usual routine.

Things went as you’d expect with 6 year old and almost 3 year old boys in your entourage. Actually, they were pretty well behaved. No one melted down, miraculously.

As we were leaving the parking lot of the shopping center, my dad spotted an anomaly, a giant school bus with huge CalTrans lights shining on it.

It was the Monster Kool Bus.

Monster Truck School Bus

This bus is insane looking. It’s like 13 feet tall and the boys were drooling over its power. They were offering rides and of course, my nephews had to ride it. Plus it was for a good cause. They are raising money for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.

Multipe Sclerosis

It was only a few minutes, but how often do you get to ride around in a vehicle doing donuts in the Sam’s Club parking lot and not get chased off the property?

It looks like a local guy owns the big yellow monster bus. I perused the website www.monsterkoolbus.com and most of the past events were in Northern California. I think the guy said he gets 1/2 mile to the gallon, so his range of events is probably limited. The guys manning the vehicle were very personable. They seem to genuinely enjoy what they do. They even let me get on the bus and take a few photos.

Inside Monster Bus

I stayed behind and shot this video:

The Monster Kool Bus will be up in Folsom until March 6th, so there’s still time to get your adrenaline up and donate to a good cause.

It must be hell inside your head*

You want to know what PMS is like? It’s awful. One minute you’re pissed off because someone got on the elevator with you. (How dare they!) The next you are crying because no one loves you. (No one ever will.) Then you are laughing because your friend said something funny. (She’s hilarious!)

And all the while, all you want to do is hide from the world while the crazy stirs within. You can feel it lurking inside like a demon.

Add to that my usual insecurities and control issues and PMS is a hell of a thing.

Much like when Harry Potter encountered the Dementors, (shut up) the only thing that makes me feel sane again is chocolate.

I try my damnedest to control it. I try to bite my tongue. I try to count to ten and breathe before doing anything rash. I try to just hide from the world. I’m pretty good at hiding, but my work schedule doesn’t always allow for it.

What I would really like is a punching bag. Of course, a round of beating the hell out of a piece of leather will probably just make me cry in frustration anyway.

Sometimes I just need the emotional release of a good cry. I used to clean my house furiously when the depression and anxiety of PMS would set in. It always ended with me bawling my eyes out on my bed, but at least I burned a few extra calories first!

*Quote from Big Bang Theory

Men just don’t get it

I’m not bashing men. I’m just saying that they haven’t got a clue when it comes to fear. The moment I step outside of my home, I’m afraid. Heck, sometimes even inside my home I’m afraid. What am I afraid of? Nothing specific has happened to me. But, I mean, have you seen the news?

At any moment, I could fall victim to a crime. Women get preyed upon more than men. Sure, men get jumped, but not as often as a woman gets robbed, murdered or worse, raped.

A woman can’t even go into a public restroom alone without fearing for her personal safety. That thought probably never even crosses a man’s mind. Sometimes I wish I had that Point of View Gun from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, so men could understand what it’s like to always have this fear stuck in your psyche.

This is why I don’t need to seek thrills through jumping out of airplanes or trying to climb mountains. Just leaving the house raises my adrenaline level enough. I don’t need added stress to have “fun”.

So when I freak out about going some place alone, fear of being murdered, mugged or worse, raped, is always in my brain.  I’m not being irrational.  I’m trying to protect myself, so don’t judge me or any other woman since you don’t understand what it’s like to fear that way.

>Advice for Men: How to make women happy

>It’s simple. All you have to do is ask, “Do you need any help?”

When do you ask this? Easy. If you answer yes to any of the following questions, offer to help:

  • Are you getting ready for a big holiday celebration? 
  • Are you getting ready to go somewhere on vacation? 
  • Are you getting ready to go somewhere for the day? 
  • Are people coming over for a visit? 
  • Do you see her cleaning something? 
  • Do you see large boxes of crap in an unusual place? 
  • Do you just want to sit down for a moment? 
  • Did you just finish a meal at home? 
  • Did you just complete a task she asked you to do?

This advice can be applied to all the women in your life, not just the ones you are dating or to whom you are married. Give your sisters, mothers, grandmothers, aunts, cousins, and friends a gift they will treasure. You will standout above the other men just sitting mindlessly in front of the TV, computer or even newspaper.

Remember…what goes around comes around!

>What’s your name, little girl? What’s your name?


Not that I’m ever going to have this problem, but changing your name when you get married is a big deal for a woman and can be way more complicated than you realize.

For example, what if you got married young and took your husband’s last name. While you were married, your career took off, but the marriage failed. For let’s say, 10 years everyone knows you as Mrs. Jones.

Then you break up. You keep the last name for the kid’s sake, and also because all of your clients know you as Mrs. Jones and in general changing your name on legal documents is a huge hassle.

Then you start dating someone new. It gets serious and three years after the first marriage broke up, you are married again.

So, now you are faced with a problem. If you keep going by Mrs. Jones, whenever the clients meet your new husband, Mr. Brown, they call him Mr. Jones…the ex-husband’s last name.

Now what do you do? You have to change your name to appease the new husband, but do you take his name hoping that it really is until death do you part? Or do you just revert to your maiden name?

And if you do choose to go with the maiden name…that will be an interesting and very personal conversation with a client.

“So, Jones isn’t your maiden name? But your last name is Smith…Who’s this Brown then?”

I won’t have this problem because odds I’ll get hit by lightning before I get married, but even if I do happen to defy the odds, I will probably just keep my maiden name professionally.

>Shut it, you!

>Entry #234

Why do I have to put the seat down?

I have an answer to the whole seat up/down toilet situation.

Shut the damn lid.

Seriously, no one wants to look into the yawning mouth of the porcelain god.  Plus, then both sexes have to perform a task before conducting business.

Ever dropped something into the toilet?  That wouldn’t happen if you had shut the lid!  I probably would have gone through 5 hairdryers this year if the toilet was open for business when it wasn’t necessary.

Also, what’s with the dropping of the lid?  How hard is it to just set the thing down?  Honestly, I can’t drop it on purpose.  It’s an unconscious action to close the lid.

Create the habit of closing the lid and avoid dumb arguments.