Today, is my birthday. It’s pretty much the best birthday ever. I just wish it didn’t take 39 years to happen. However, I am NOT complaining. Yes, I’m in my last year of my 30s. I remember when I turned 30. I celebrated in Vegas with my family. It was a pretty good birthday, but not the best.
It was surreal turning 30. I thought I’d magically feel some semblance of contentment or confidence wash over me. The confidence took about five more years to manifest. The contentment came a little more slowly. One thing I realized the other day, I’m not as nervous about much as I used to be. It’s great! All of these interviews I’ve been going on have been a little nerve racking, but my sense of confidence has helped me through them better than any other time in my life when I’ve had a job change.
Why is 39 the best birthday? Because after all these years, I finally have my birthday wish come true. I get to spend it with my boyfriend. For one birthday in high school, I had a boyfriend. It was nice, but this one is infinitely better. The sweetest man ever is celebrating with me. We’re going to visit wineries, have a nice dinner, and of course, birthday cake. I think it’s been two years since I’ve had birthday cake.
Last year, I was down in southern California celebrating my cousin, who now lives in Minneapolis, and her graduation from college. It was also the first time I puked in public (twice)…and I was completely sober! Thank you, migraine!
So unless I somehow end up puking on my shoes in the middle of a parking lot again, I think this birthday will be better. But, the fact that I get to spend it with Paul ensures that I will have the time of my life.
Everyone out there who has been wishing and hoping for something in their lives to change, I wish for it to happen for you. I wish you the best and want you to be as happy as I am. I know you can have it and I know you deserve it. Even if you feel angry, depressed, and defeated, please, keep hope alive. I felt that way last year.
This year, my life is vastly different. It happened when it happened, not when I wanted it to, but when it was supposed to. When I finally found the inner peace to go with the flow, things began to change. But, it wasn’t easy. I am a control freak. I want things to happen, NOW. What I wasn’t doing was looking at how wonderful my life already was.
Where do I see myself in five years? I hate this question in interviews. Five years ago, if you had told me I’d be living in the Midwest with the man of my dreams, I would have laughed in your face and then started crying because I was so lonely. Honestly, after all I’ve experienced this year, I have no idea where the universe will lead me over the next half decade. All I care about is that I get to take that journey with Paul.