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I think some people in Sacramento (and probably all over the world) jump into the online dating scene before they are ready. But, how can you be sure you are ready? I’m so glad you asked. In order to save me time and heartache (as well as my other fellow daters) I have created this simple checklist. If any of the following symptoms apply to you, I beg of you, DO NOT SIGN UP for a dating site.
1) You are not, in fact, single. I can’t even believe I have to even mention this, but some people seem to be fuzzy on the whole “who is single” definition. If you feel the need to hide your photo or otherwise worry that a certain someone might find your profile, you are not single. Be an adult and end it with them first. Then join the millions of us who are seeking companionship and stop wasting our collective time!
2) You don’t have time to meet in person. Seriously, this is another fucking obvious situation. If you have embarked on a super secret government mission or have to spend most nights toiling away under a bare bulb because you need to finish your manifesto, you are not ready to date. If you just want to chat some people up between your day job at the cafe and your night job at the security desk, get your ass on Twitter or Facebook. Both of those services are free and there are plenty of freaks to entertain you.
3) You can’t afford to pay for a drink. Again, why am I pointing out the obvious here? If you can’t even pony up $3 for a happy hour Coors Light (or a Starbucks chamomile tea), you should just delete your profile now. Being in a relationship isn’t for the cheap.
4) You are horribly afraid of rejection. Get over yourself, honey. We all get rejected…alot. If I stopped looking for a guy after the first time I got rejected, I’d still be single. Wait, that’s a bad example. I mean that I would never have gone out on all those dates last year. Besides, rejection makes you a much more interesting person. People want to hear how stupid and awful it is to date. They don’t want to hear how much fun you are having. Would you really want to hear me say, “I had such a fabulous time! I can’t wait to see him again. But if he never does, that’s OK. I’ve got another one lined up tomorrow!” You would all hate me and for good reason.