>Emmy Fashion Rant

>I started off by watching E!’s 3 hour red carpet coverage. I look forward to this because I enjoy seeing what fashion train wrecks will be walking by.

I can’t stand Star Jones. She’s just missing that certain something (a personality). She doesn’t come across as funny, interesting, or intelligent. She’s bland and simpering. She works best on mid-morning television and should stay there. She has little to no fashion knowledge, at least that’s what her clothes tell me. Just look at that horrible purple dress she was wearing! Supposedly she lost a bunch of weight, but that purple velvet nightmare was sure hiding it. The only way I could tell was by the sudden appearance of her clavicle. And don’t get me started on that hairdo. In fact, there was a couple of other no-name E! chicks with the same ‘do and none of them looked good in it.

Kathy Griffin was not much better. Her clothing was passable. She was sitting most of the time, so it was tough to get an overall impression. Granted she did have a few zingers here and there that made me laugh, but her personality is a little too grating for me at times. Actually, it’s her voice that was grating, but she can’t help that. Although, she’s not as bad as Joan Rivers (that’s not humanly possible). Believe me, I don’t want Joan and that wishy-washy daughter of hers back on E! Let them stay in the purgatory that is the TV Guide channel.

Aside from the E! hacks, overall, the women of the night seemed to pull themselves together fairly well. Most of the time, I am lamenting the lack of decent updo’s and classically beautiful gowns. This year, there was the intermittent ponytail and the random fashion no-no.

Par example, Eva Longoria…Her hair was done beautifully, but that dress. I loved the orange, I loved the bejeweled collar, but that keyhole showing her lack of endowments took away from the beauty of the outfit. Had the designer left in that bit of material, I think it would have been difficult outshine her. All the women of Wisteria Lane pulled it together for the evening. I still won’t watch that show though.

Holy Lord, what happened to Barbara Hershey? I didn’t even recognize her! I saw the Sayeed from Lost, but had NO CLUE he was with her. Her hair looked horrible and I don’t think she was wearing any makeup. Ok, maybe foundation, but no eye enhancement to speak of.

My theory is this: If you have the money and you are going to a special once in a life time, broadcast all over the world event, you should go out and get your hair and make up done. Also, make sure that when you are done with the beautification, it looks like your hair and make up were done and done well. Otherwise, GET YOUR MONEY BACK.

And Heidi Klum, why are you there? I have to say, she looked great for a woman who just gave birth. I’d need a long nap, like 9 months long.

Mariska Hargitay, totally didn’t recognize her either. I’m used to seeing her with short hair on one of the many Law & Orders, but the long hair suits her. Her dress was great, love the bold color. I thought she was some hot young actress newly arrived to promote her upcoming TV show.

I didn’t watch the actual show much. Although, I did enjoy the Green Acres rendition by Trump and Megan Mullaly, loved the overalls!