>I can’t get into the spirit of Christmas this year. It’s so bad, I don’t even want to put up a Christmas tree.
This happens to me every year, but this time it feels worse. As odd as it may sound, I’m thankful for my job. It keeps me so busy, I don’t have time to dwell on the depression and loneliness. The weekends are tough because I have nothing to do. I try to sleep as much as possible instead of self-medicating with food.
This weekend I went to a holiday party and was overwhelmed by the realization that I probably will be single for the rest of my life. The guy I have a little crush on was there, but I didn’t get to say more than “Hello” to him before I had to leave the party. Someone had the bright idea to include the kids (instead of being civilized and getting a sitter like our parents did), so of course after only being there for an hour, my nephew threw a tantrum because it was past his bedtime. Since my sister was my ride home, I had no choice but to leave with her. That was when I had my unfortunate epiphany. I pretty much went home and had a breakdown.
While at work today, I saw a Christmas card that said, “Find joy in the things that you give instead of the things that you receive.” It actually made me feel a lot better. I have a tendency to focus on what’s missing from my life instead of what I already have. These negative feelings of bitterness and sadness won’t help me have a better life.
>The holidays are an awful time of year when you’re single. At your age, I used to feel exactly the same way. I can really identify with your comments about focusing on work and trying to avoid food. I wish you well though, never give up hope on finding your soul mate.
>I honestly want to drag your little depressed butt out on the town for some yummy lemon drops (or mohitos if you like those better!) and dancing. Always chases away my blues!
Honest to God, this has never failed me: When you’re out with a girlfriend having drinks and making asses of yourselves on the dance floor with the shopping cart and sprinkler moves, the men flock. They love girls who aren’t trying too hard. True, they’re from the bar, so they may not be soulmate material, but hell, the first time I met my husband it was at a bar. Oh, and I was dating his friend on and off at the time. My round-about point is . . . I really don’t know. Get out there and see what comes your way – there that’s my point.
Seriously, we’d have fun. Forgive me if I creep you out. I’m really a nice girl. =) I bet serial killers probably say that too though.
>Gary – Thanks for the positive vibes.
Mara – LOL! Thanks for the invite. I might take you up on that someday. I’m feeling better. Work has helped. It keeps me so busy, I don’t have time to dwell on anything really.