>The other day I went into the ladies room and noticed I wasn’t alone. I didn’t hear anything strange coming from the only other occupied stall, just the noises one would expect, so I just went about my business.
Suddenly, I heard a female voice. I thought the chick was talking to me. Turns out, she was on the phone. Of course, I flushed and I could tell from the tone in her voice that she was annoyed by the sound.
Hello? You are in THE RESTROOM. Maybe you should wait until you leave to make a call if you don’t want the sound of a toilet interrupting your conversation. Besides, GROSS.
>If anyone had come to my door about 15 minutes ago, they would have probably started laughing. There I was sitting on my couch with a bottle of Windex clasped between my hands staring at the TV.
The Windex wasn’t out from it’s cupboard because I needed to clean some glass surfaces without streaking. I use it as bug spray. That’s right, bug spray. I had been sitting on the couch when a very strong buzzing grew in my ear. After 10 minutes of searching the air for a minute flying object, I glanced at the windowsill next to the couch and saw what might have been the offending insect. Needless to say, I drowned it in ammonia based cleaner.
>This afternoon I was listening to KWOD 106.5 and I heard this really strange commercial. Now, I only heard a part of it, but it was something about getting tattoos for your unborn children like in utero. They said something about a tramp stamp sticking out of the back of the kid’s diapers. There was something about the unmarked white van bringing the tattooing to your house or trailer.
All I could think of was that it had to be a joke or something from the Onion, but there was nothing to indicate that it wasn’t serious. Maybe some kind of disclaimer came on before the commercial started and I missed it.
Anything is possible, but I really hope that commercial was a joke.