>To the dude parked in front of my garage this afternoon,
Your deafening music serves as a reminder as to why I am happy to move out of this neighborhood. I’m not really sure who you are trying to impress. Maybe you just want to feel like you are living in the middle of a concert. Either way, I will be glad to be away from the ambiance you create.
To my upstairs neighbors,
The constant rumbling of your steps will not be missed by me. My neighbors at my new house will not be living above me. Only the birds will be living above me. Nor will I miss the confetti of cigarette butts littering my patio. I will not miss the incessant yapping of your kick size dog. The next tenant will have to deal with your idiosyncrasies. My term is about up.