>My sister and I went to Safeway to get some sandwiches at the deli. As we were waiting for our sandwiches, another patron ordered hers. The sandwich maker says to the patron, “We’re out of pepperonici.”
I look at my sister who goes, “Can’t they just run over to aisle 5 and grab a jar off the shelf?”
“Apparently, it’s too long of a walk.”
Later we went over to see a friend’s new home. They were fixing the dry wall, so all the furniture was hidden in a locked room. Jen shows us around. On the walls are white spots where pictures had been hanging for years. The former owner’s had smoked so many cigarettes that a thin layer of tar had stuck to every surface of the house.
Then Jen shows us the master bathroom. It looks like something from a Vegas hotel room in 1975. One wall was covered in fake rock. The other wall had shiny bronze wallpaper with black birds all over it. The bathtub had dark brown tile and a big brass swan for the faucet. She can’t wait to sell that swan faucet on eBay.
Did I mention that there were two wet bars in this house? One in the living room and one in the bathroom. I’m surprised Robert Goulet hadn’t lived there before.
>If Robert Goulet had lived there they should turn the place into a shrine dedicated to all things Goulet – cocktails, cigarettes, turtleneck sweaters, a good tune belted out in a rich baritone voice, and a pair of Foster Grant shades.
>A Bar in the bathroom???? WTF???