>Random Thursday

      2 Comments on >Random Thursday

>Things I overheard at work:

“How did you get Hepatitis C?”

“You’re a cheap drunk, huh?”

“Candy is my crack, cocaine, and heroin all wrapped up in a delicious chocolate coating.”

“She was attacked by a 70 year old man while waiting in line at Costco.”

“Apparently, I’m not interesting enough to have lunch with, but it’s OK to eat my baked goods.”

“I’m fat, poor, and single. By all accounts, society says I should jump off the Golden Gate Bridge as soon as possible.”

2 thoughts on “>Random Thursday

  1. SFChick74

    >The Hep C thing was odd. She asked it like, “How did you stub your toe?”

    Isn’t Hepatitis C almost as bad as getting HIV or AIDS?

    Reply

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>Random Thursday

      2 Comments on >Random Thursday

>I overheard the following:

Little Boy: “Mom, what’s a basement?”
Mom: “Well, the class I’m going to attend over at Sac State is in a room that (blah blah blah)”

Sum it up for the poor kid! It’s the lowest level in a building, usually underground! Why do some people feel the need to explain too damn much?

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Chocolate is a poor substitute for affection, but it’s easier for me to obtain.

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I’d really like a glass of wine right now.

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If I won the lottery tomorrow, I’d hire someone to take out my garbage twice a week and clean out the catbox.

About Amy Ruiz Fritz

Wine drinker, LEGO minifigure enjoyer, movie watcher, furniture re-arranger, Nook reader, traveler, online shopper, aphorism collector, cheese lover, humor blogger?

2 thoughts on “>Random Thursday

  1. Nick

    >When people really do win the Lottery, I wonder if they actually do any of the shit they said they’d do if they won the lottery?

    Reply

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>Random Thursday

      5 Comments on >Random Thursday

>I’m tired of feeling like an outcast simply because I’m sane.

I’m sick of these weird names people are giving their children. I know someone who actually named their kid Talon! Are you trying to turn your son into a character in a bad romance novel or crappy soap opera?

I’m also tired of married women assuming that I’m going to steal their husbands, simply because I’m single. Honey, I don’t want your lame ass husband. I’m just talking to him because he’s there and I’m bored. Besides, the karmic payback for breaking up a relationship is something I’d rather not experience.

I’d also like to state that if I’m destined to be single for the rest of my life, I think I should be allowed to win the lottery. Since my love life is in the shitter, can I at least have some cash? And no the hot guy did not show up at the BBQ. I was the only single person at the event. Not to mention only one of two women who did not have children or a child on the way. There were 4 count them 4 pregnant women there! I’m pretty sure it was one of my own personal hells. Thank God for booze.

About Amy Ruiz Fritz

Wine drinker, LEGO minifigure enjoyer, movie watcher, furniture re-arranger, Nook reader, traveler, online shopper, aphorism collector, cheese lover, humor blogger?

5 thoughts on “>Random Thursday

  1. jsull

    >haaaaaaaaaaaaa
    good post!
    I’m glad you don’t know my bride, that would make me “lame assed” and I’d hate to be lame assed.
    Ok
    good post
    I’m a newbie but I’ll finger it out before long
    js

    Reply
  2. Notsocranky Yankee

    >Booze is always good for those situations. Sorry the hot guy didn’t show up.

    I don’t think women are trying to pick up my husband but a couple of women have given me a bad vibe. Two years ago, at a 4th of July party, I met a woman for the first time. My husband and my son had been sitting near her at a table. When my husband gave me his seat and left, she said to me, “Your son has your husband’s eyes.” (Regular dark brown eyes, nothing shocking!) I thought it was an odd comment from someone I had only known for 2 minutes. To me that’s like a guy telling another guy that his wife has a nice ass, but maybe I was being sensitive that day! The other woman just gave me a weird feeling — I won’t bore you with the details.

    I hope you win the lottery…

    Reply
  3. SFChick74

    >Notsocranky, you are one of the few. I’m not even the skank-type. I consider myself pretty run of the mill, non-threatening.

    Women who I consider to be friends give me a wary look if their husband spends what they consider to be too much time in my presence. Maybe I just need to make new friends.

    Reply
  4. Nick

    >If you talked to ME for any length of time, I’m pretty sure my pseudo-wife Marie would come over and thank you for taking me off her hands, if even for a minute.

    Reply

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