- I’m taller than Jesus.
- A career change to the baking industry might be in my future.
- I never seem to drink enough water.
- Speeding has never been a problem for me and hopefully it never will be.
- I have recently come to realize that my fear about turning into my Aunt Edna might be coming to fruition.
- Christmas is my favorite holiday.
- I will not have another pet after my cat passes on, unless I become rich enough to hire a maid to clean up the cat puke and litter box.
- Plants do not survive long in my care.
- I never dust unless company comes to visit.
- My weekends are usually spent with no set plans. It’s all about decompressing from the work week.
>I recently turned 33, thus fulfilling a childhood promise to myself to outlive Jesus.
>I just wanna be a better arm wrestler than Jesus.
>Did you ever wonder why all the cats in today’s world have to throw up? Are we feeding them the wrong food, or what?