>Jarring

>This morning I was minding my own business. Just getting a chocolate muffin from the deli when through my bleary gaze I think I see the HVAC guy who blew me off a few months ago. I did a quick double take because I wasn’t sure it was really him. Of course, I scurried off to my cubicle as quickly as I could. I wasn’t emotionally prepared to deal with him that early in the morning.

After throwing myself into work for a few hours, I went out to run some errands. Then because I am generous at heart, I called a couple of my coworkers to ask if they wanted me to pick up some burritos for them from Chipotle. As I pulled into the Chipotle parking lot, I saw a truck that looked similar to HVAC guy’s vehicle. Freaking out I peeled out of the parking lot.

As I got a few feet away, rational thinking came back to me. Odds are it wasn’t his truck. How would I explain not going to Chipotle to my coworkers? Taking a few deep breaths, I made my way back to the restaurant.

As I was getting in line, I caught another glimpse of HVAC guy walking towards the exit. What the hell?!? I barely remember getting the food and going back to my car. Of course, when I got to the parking lot, his truck was still there. I didn’t see his face, but I could tell someone was inside.

What is this emotion I’m feeling? Confusion? Anger? Happiness? Do I try to contact him? My mind tells me to just let it go. He already blew me off once. I’m doubtful he’s regained any semblance of interest. I don’t think my heart can take more rejection from the same guy. Usually, I’m smart enough to take “no” for an answer the first time.