>The waiting room at the maternity ward of the hospital was a freaking reunion for Jerry Springer guests.
As I was waiting for my sister to get assigned a room after recovering from the C-Section, I sat amongst the dregs of humanity trying to stay awake. Again, it’s possible I was having a nightmare, but my mom could not have been having the exact same nightmare at the exact same time.
We both sat there exhausted when one of the other occupants decided to tell us his story. Apparently, Joe Schmoe was waiting for his sister to have yet another baby. Her fourth maybe. Joe claimed to be my age (32) and have 8 step-grandchildren. He also claimed to be so injured/ill that he was on disability, yet he couldn’t just live off the system. He also had a part time job. I was WAY too tired to point out that he had pretty much just confessed to fraud.
Joe proceeded to describe the anvil that shattered every bone in his left foot while at said job. Then how his heartburn was just so bad that Tums couldn’t help it. He had to drink a glass of half and half to get any relief.
Not only was he a complete bullshitter, he was one of these “one upper” types. Whatever personal hell you’ve been through, he’s been through worse. Yours is nothing compared to his. Whatever good things had happened, his has been at least twice as good. This was the point where the details of his diatribe leaked out of my consciousness and through the sleeply haze, I could only sense his lack of formal education.
Seriously, do I have a freak magnet planted in me or do I just look like the type who wants to talk to the regular attendees of the Montel Williams show?