>I am going to be single for the rest of my life. I just got back from a date. If I am really attracted to a guy, I will not go home before 10 p.m. on a Saturday night. Joey is a nice guy, but there’s no spark for me. I need to have that gut wrenching electricity course through me when I first see a guy. I think I made up my mind that I wasn’t attracted to this guy after our first date, but I doubted myself and went out on another one tonight.
I also understand why a guy says, “I’ll call you,” and then doesn’t. He’s trying to let you down easy. I told this guy to call me and maybe we’ll do something tomorrow because I didn’t know what else to say. I was too chicken to tell him that I’m not interested. Basically, I’ll just be avoiding his phone calls and/or emails for the next week.
I know, I’m a shittle. I didn’t even want to go out tonight, but my sister convinced me that it would be mean to back out at the last minute. The “something suddenly came up” excuse is what I wanted to use. Except I had no other date, I just didn’t want to go out with Joey.
I know that if I am really attracted to a guy, I won’t care what he does for a living. I won’t care how much money he makes. As long as he doesn’t have a criminal record, he’s aces in my book. I sat there thinking on the first date, “Why can’t this guy keep a job longer than 2 years? He’s 6 years older than me. He should already be well into a career path.”
Tonight, I actually found myself going, “I’m way too attractive to be with this guy.” I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. I usually have thoughts like, “Why am I so ugly?”
I can get dates with guys I have absolutely no attraction to, but the guys I find attractive always seem to already be in a relationship. Up until tonight, I thought I was just a victim of bad luck. Now I think I might just be choosing guys I can’t have.