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>I need a sugar momma/daddy patron to buy me Lasik!

I guess if you don’t ask you’ll never know. I’d like a million dollars please. I’m a non-trite writer, too.

This ad will most likely be pulled within the hour. Here is the text:

The nuisance of having to dig into my eyes, tear up, and run into the restroom or have my glasses slip off my nose is holding me back immensely. I truly believe I can accomplish even more if only I did not have to deal with this.

You would be my patron of the arts. I’m a steady, passionate, non-trite writer. I will make films, art pieces and performances, and perform and record music. I just need my patron for this art, my pat on the back and foot in the door, if you will.

I’m already developing an original string quartet, writing both a novel and book of reviews of the Bay Area, strengthening my portfolio in design and music, and looking to get into film making and acting as well. You will be forever appreciated and credited in such endeavors, because you, in an obscure but indescribably important way, would have been part of making the accomplishment possible. I can’t be bogged down by such details and have a third of every hour go to blinking and worrying.

I have not had health insurance in years and probably will not any time soon. Getting Lasik has been on my mind quite a lot, but for lack of funds this would be a dream forever unrealized! Unless you help! Please write to me if you are interested in being my patron.

Thank you.

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