To this day, I still hate relationship and dating advice. Most of it is bunk. Actually, there is one rule that I wish more people would follow: Be polite. So many people are just rude when it comes to dating. I’m lucky. Paul is one of the most mature people I’ve ever met. He’s a real live grown up and that’s just so sexy.
This applies to both men and women: too many of you are afraid and immature. It’s what makes dating awful. It’s really not that difficult to be polite. Just treat people how you want to be treated. If you are not interested, let them know. Say thanks, but no thanks. Why is that so difficult for people to do?
Again, I know I’m lucky. It’s not easy to find someone with whom you click and who clicks with you. It’s not easy to find someone whose sense of humor meshes well with yours. Heck, it’s not always easy to find someone who just wants to stick around.
You know what else isn’t easy? A long distance relationship. Honestly, it’s not for the immature and those lacking in self-confidence. I grew up with my dad traveling quite a bit for work. He would be gone for weeks at a time. It wasn’t easy for my mom. But, she’d grown up with her dad in the military. She knew it could be worse. At least she knew my dad would be back and where he was going. My grandmother would have no clue where my grandfather would be deployed sometimes nor when he might be back. I try to keep that in mind as I’m longing for Paul.
Plus, there is Skype (when it works), texting, Facebook, Twitter and phone calls. How many people who live close to you use those forms of communication to maintain a relationship? Why should dating be any different?
Also, what I think helps with a long distance relationship is the compromise that one of you will move at some point in the future. Granted, we’ve only interacted with each other face to face for about two and a half weeks. And we’ve only really been dating for about 4 and a half months, but when you know you want to be with someone, you know.
It might not be the way others say relationships are supposed to go, but that’s just fear. What’s right for you may not be right for some. Crap, I might have just quoted Diff’rent Strokes right there. All I know is that this relationship feels right. I have never been happier in my life.
Don’t fret. Neither one of us is going to jump on a plane tomorrow and relocate. While there are times when I feel like doing just that, I know that it would be smarter to just go with the flow. When it’s the right time for one of us to move, we will. Until then, I’m going to enjoy the perks of a long distance relationship.
We didn’t email much when we were long-distance because C’s job didn’t put him in front of a computer. But we talked every night and once our phones and data plans allowed, we texted.
The hardest part was not knowing when we’d see each other again, and relatedly not knowing how long we’d be apart. We went 8 weeks at one time, due to circumstances, and both agreed that was wretched and that we’d never do that again. We’d try to end a visit with dates for the next visit, but even so, I did a lot of crying at airports.
Planning future visits earl also helped the pocketbook, since he lived in a place without a multitude of airport options. But when it’s right, it’s worth it!