Relationship Milestones: Information Sharing & Technology

Sharing is caring? Or is it? Do you share your passwords with your significant other?  At which point does it become expected? Do you share social media accounts? How about email addresses? What about your calendar? A cell phone?

There was an article I read today that got me thinking…yes, that’s always dangerous.

I’ve noticed that couples over a certain age or who have been together for a certain about of time, tend to share things like email addresses or social media accounts.  I’m not gonna lie.  I think that’s a bit odd.

It could be generational. Many women and men of my generation were single for a long time and had their own email addresses, social media accounts, and of course cell phones.

My grandparents share all of these things. My parents, however, do not. Neither do my sister and her husband.

Is it telling about how women now identify themselves? It used to be that once a woman got married, she sort of merged with her husband.  Back in the day, I would be Mrs. Paul Fritz, Jr. once I got married.  That pretty much erases all of my maiden identity.

I’ve seen a few people of my generation sharing an account on Facebook. I’m sorry, but that’s just odd to me. Do you really need to assimilate your identity like a Borg? Facebook isn’t exactly set up for couples to share an account. Seeing MarshaGreg Smith or JoeJane Doe doesn’t really computer well in my brain.

A phone was for the family, the home, back when I was a kid.  Now, phones are for a person. Is it just me or is it odd when someone other than the owner of the phone answers it? It’s OK if it goes to voicemail. It can be checked.  People don’t HAVE to be available every second of the day.

I don’t really see the need to share a calendar.  I’m not THAT busy.  Send me a calendar invite if I need to remember something.  Although, I know one of my friends has a family Google calendar.  I can see how that could be useful if you are super busy with activities across multiple people.  We do that at work in a way.  I mean what if you have a ton of events to put on that calendar, but you don’t want to always see them? It would be easy to turn it off and on to keep your mind from going nuts.

But, what about sharing proprietary information? Have you shared your passwords with your significant other?  Of course, I have like a million passwords, which I can barely remember.  I write them all down in a book with a pen and everything.  But, I’ve told Paul that he can access any of these accounts if he needs to.  I know 99% of the time he won’t. Why should he?  It’s more of a…in case I need you to look something up or if something happens to me…type thing. I don’t have his passwords, but if I needed them he’d tell me, unlike George Constanza, I don’t think he’d freak out if I asked him for his ATM pin.

One thing I’m have a difficult time with is sharing salary information.  It’s not that I don’t want to share it with Paul. It’s just that I feel weird about it because it’s been drilled into my brain not to share that with anyone. Technically, it’s been no one’s business, but mine up until now.

What do you think? Does sharing certain accounts make life easier? Is it generational? Is it a psychological indicator of someone’s state of mind? At what point do you tell your significant other your salary or your passwords?

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