People of Capitol Mall, consider this your fair warning. Your rudeness will no longer be tolerated.
Should you stupidly walk in a group wherein your members are more than two abreast, I reserve the right to plow right through you.
Yes, I know the lovely Mall has very wide sidewalks, but that doesn’t mean you need to forget your manners altogether. What am I saying? You haven’t the faintest idea what manners are. If you did, you would anticipate the fact that you shouldn’t be flanking your friends in some ineffective militant formation.
Heck, you don’t even look both ways and wait for traffic to be clear before crossing the street. Not to mention how many times you jaywalk. Here’s the thing, people in cars CAN’T SEE YOU. Just because the State of California gives you the “right of way” doesn’t mean the laws of physics are suspended. Your parents should have taught you this basic measure of self-preservation. Heck, it should be inherent in your psyche. Don’t you feel the need to protect yourself from danger? Crossing the street is dangerous!
But, I was yelling at other pedestrians on sidewalks. By the way, I’ll get to you idiotic bike riders who like to scare the crap out of me by almost knocking me down when I’m on the sidewalk, later.
So, here’s the rule, walkers, two abreast, no more. Yes, I know you are excited to be out of the office with your department, free from avoiding the TPS reports the state makes you fill out (or any other work for that matter, yes, I said it.) You need to calm yourself down and be more aware of your surroundings or you will knock shoulders with the wrong person and the wrong time. Or else, I’m going to have to start passing out these cards I saw on Mashable. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.