>Open Letter to the Machines in My Office

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>Let me just say, I hate you all.

Most of my scorn is geared towards you, black and white copier.  I simply ask you to staple a document that you are copying and I get ignored!  The color copier created a book for me last week.  That’s right, a BOOK!  Double sided, folded and stapled in the middle, for crying out loud! 

All I want out of you, black and white copier, is a measly staple in the left hand corner and I get nothing.  I guess I’m lucky you didn’t jam up over that three page document you had to spit out a few minutes ago.

Don’t get too comfortable there, color copier. While I am amazed at your ability to create a small book, I am equally annoyed with you.  Why you get squirrely when the legal paper tray is empty is beyond me. There’s no need to throw a fit.  Just put the fact on your read out.   Don’t beep like a truck backing up and put some random message about the paper in a different tray being the wrong size.  I don’t care if no one uses tray 4.

Computer, I’d go off on you, but that’s just too easy.  Everyone knows how buggy and slow you are.  We put up with you because writing everything by hand would be worse than having to restart you five times a day.

Land-line phones…why are you still around?  Your voicemail breaks down because the moon is in Aries and you won’t let us dial to an area code that has been around for 10 years. 

It’s amazing I can get anything done.

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