Online Dating Chronicles: Love Advice Stinks

You know what’s nice? When someone agrees with me.  Today, I read this article called Ten Very Good Reasons You Aren’t Married Yet.  If you aren’t married, I encourage you to read it.

Remember when I went off on dating coaches?  This lady put my thoughts in a more eloquent way:

There’s no end to published material aimed at stoking women’s fears and anxieties about love and marriage. Preachy self-help books about relationships are an impressive cottage industry chock full of troubling notions about women’s sexuality, male desire, and tips about what you can do better to meet the man of your dreams. According to these books, men are perfect creatures — their only flaw is that they are generally vagina-hungry beasts (until they meet Mrs. Right of course)

That’s from the first paragraph of the article.  It sums up everything I hate about dating and relationship advice.  They play on a person’s fears.  Here’s the thing, no one is perfect and that’s fine.  Perfect people are boring.  They have nothing interesting to say, you’ve seen their Facebook posts.  Everything is wonderful.  SNOOZE.

No ring necessary

My favorite reason for not being married yet, having standards.  If I was desperate a date or a boyfriend for that matter, one could be had, but I have standards.  I refuse to settle.  Settling for someone is a death knell for me.  It means I’ve given up.  I’m a passionate woman who needs that surge of excitement when I see a text from a guy or hear the sound of his voice.  Small things like that should bring a smile to my face, not a frown.  At least, at the beginning of a relationship, there should be more swooning than not.

Also, it would be awful to be the woman who a man thinks, “well, she’ll do since I can’t find what I really want.”  What am I a couch? Honestly, that frame of mind seems to be the right way to a bad relationship.

My theory is that the divorce rate is so high because people settle.  It’s totally scientific, so don’t ask for my research.  They give up and take what’s convenient instead of working to find who they really want.  Maybe you have to be alone for 20 years until the right one comes along.  Maybe it takes 30 years. But again, this quote from the article sums up what I’ve been saying lately:

And frankly, being alone is just more manageable and makes you happier than being in a relationship that’s the pits.

Being alone isn’t always fun.  There are moments of loneliness, but they are mere moments.  They go away.  Being in an unsatisfying, bad relationship is a constant source of stress.  The person who annoys you is always there, annoying you.  But then again, what do I know?  I’ve been single for most of my life and probably doomed to be a spinster.  But you can’t tell to look at me.  Most people assume I’m married, so I guess I have that ruse working for me.

2 thoughts on “Online Dating Chronicles: Love Advice Stinks

  1. Ashley Urke | Domestic Fashionista

    Interesting thoughts…I think what you say is true. We all have different stories of dating or even meeting a spouse. No book or someone else’s experience can determine that for someone else.

    I don’t think we got to chat much at the meet up but wanted to stop by and say hello!

    Reply

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