>I need to hire a driver. I’m so tired of driving.

>

Sacramento, I love you, but we’ve got to talk about something. Your driving habits are really lame. First of all, ladies. If you are at a stop light and are turning right, DO NOT YIELD to the people turning left. Just fucking go! You have the right of way. If you wave me on, I will scoff and roll my eyes at you.

Also, DO NOT stop on Folsom Boulevard to let those Yahoos coming out of Trader Joe’s turn right or left into traffic. They are supposed to wait their damn turn. You might think you are being nice to them, but you are being an asshole to the 5 cars behind you. It’s one thing if traffic is full on stopped and you let someone in, it’s another if you just randomly slow down in some twisted act of being polite.

Speaking of assholes, men…if you don’t use your turn signal, you are also being an asshole. I can’t read your mind (nor would I ever want to), so I don’t know that your seemingly random slowness or stopping is because you are trying to make a turn. Don’t just drift into the next lane. Someone else might be trying to change lanes too. There are more than two people on the freeway or on the surface streets at any given time.  Shocking, I know!

If there was money in the state budget, I’d be advocating for more frequent re-testing for drivers. Seriously, ever 10 years I think someone needs to be tested on the rules of the road and maybe a viewing of Red Asphalt just to send the message home.

Also, PUT DOWN YOUR DAMN PHONES! It’s one thing if you are looking up directions…but the people I see are full on chatting. Get a headset or a bluetooth. It’s really not that difficult. Just drive.

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