>My computer was acting up today. Let me rephrase that because it wasn’t actually my Mac. Macs never act up. Now let me throw some salt over my shoulder, cross my fingers and knock on wood so I don’t jinx myself. Anyway, I was trying to surf the web today, but it was hella slow. Yes, I just said hella. It was taking a frustratingly long amount of time for Facebook to load.
Finally, it dawned on me that my janky DSL must be down. Yes, I am one of the few remaining people with DSL service in Sacramento. I tried to get Surewest to install their insanely fast fiber optic last year, but they gave me attitude and told me it would take a month for them to come out and do it. Thanks, but screw you.
So, I’m stuck with the slowest DSL AT&T has to offer because apparently, East Sacramento is so far away from civilization. Regardless, it craps out at least once a year.
I reluctantly went to my stupid modem, router or whatever the hell it’s called and looked at the lights. One red light glared at me angrily. Because I’m not a novice at dealing with computer type stuff, I knew that the first thing any sort of technical support was going to do was to tell me to restart the thing, which I did. I watched the green lights struggle to appear on the machine. One kept blinking for an inordinate amount of time and then glared at me again in red. Twice I repeated this fruitless process until I finally gave in and called for help.
A computer answered. Instantly, my frustration triples. One machine is telling me how to fix another…don’t you just love technology? I can never answer the questions of the automated voice service without attitude.
Heavy sigh “Yes!”
Heavier sigh “No!”
Heaviest sigh “DSL Trouble!”
The stupid machine runs a test, sees that yes I am having trouble, but I should hang up and check my connections. What? I had to listen to that advice twice before it set in. So, I just wasted 5 minutes of my life to be told what I already knew and get no help? Strangely enough, without checking the connections, the DSL righted it self. I still have 24 hours to call backif I am still having trouble, according the robot at AT&T. Yeah, I’ll get right on that, but if it does happen, I will be sure to speak to a human instead. How I love to press zero!