>Bitter is so attractive

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>This dating drought is killing me.  Yes, it’s only been 3 months since my last date and I should just calm down.  In fact, if you’ve read this blog for some time, you know that I have gone years and years without a date.  I’m not being sarcastic for the sake of humor.  Seriously, in my 20s and early 30s I barely had any dates.  The thing is that back then I wasn’t really trying to find a date.  Yes, I joined the occasional dating site and got a date or two, but I was casual about it.  My heart wasn’t in it.  My attitude wasn’t the most positive.  Shocking, I know.

But this past year has been different,  I have an online dating plan and a more positive attitude, for the most part.  I make myself email or otherwise attempt contact with at least one guy a week.  I used to make it three guys a day, but I soon started running out of interesting men.

Over the past 3 months, it’s not just that I haven’t been able to get a date, I have barely been able to engage in decent communication with the men online.  Only a few times have I been outright rejected, mostly I just get ignored or there is a sudden ceasing in communication, the online dating equivalent of being rejected.  As luck would have it, I finally got to the “I feel comfortable enough to give you my phone number” stage with a guy and guess what…he hasn’t called or emailed and that was 5 days ago.

I have also noticed that my jealousy towards couples has increased tenfold.  There’s a very lengthy calculation involved in coming to that amount.

Whenever I hear that a woman uglier than me has gotten engaged, I want to burst into tears.  Whenever I see yet another quasi-attractive guy with a so-so gal, I fume with frustration.  Whenever I see a total bitch kissing her boyfriend, I want to vomit. 

Yes, I know these are unhealthy reactions and I don’t want to have them.  I want to be happy for those people who found each other.  No one should be doomed to roam this Earth alone.  It’s just not easy for someone whose failure rate at attempted relationships is so damn high to be celebrating the luck of others while mine is so shitty. 

Plus, I think I’m a pretty decent person with a lot to offer, so why am I still single?  The world cannot be filled with so many schmucks, can it?  I know I’m not hideously ugly. And if any of you spew the same recycled platitudes and “advice” I’ve heard time and again, I will pitch a fit.  Because you know what? When you aren’t looking for it, love DOES NOT show up.  A boyfriend doesn’t magically appear when you aren’t trying to find him.  There are no special hobbies that you should engage in order to find that one true love. 

Of course, what the hell do I know? I’m still single.  All those crappy cliche┬┤s could be true and I just need to take a class on underwater basket weaving in order to find a date for every Friday night.

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