>I was reading a post by singlegirle about how she changed her name when she got married and subsequently changed it back upon her divorce, thereby regaining her identity. It got me thinking… always a dangerous thing.
Never have I wanted to take a man’s name. I’ve thought about it. Honestly, what woman hasn’t? But, I really like my last name. It’s been the same for my whole life. Why should I change it? Tradition is a stupid reason. Plus, in the professional world, I have seen too many people confused when a woman gets married. “Is her last name Smith or Jones now? Which one was her maiden name, again?”
Should I ever find myself faced with a real marriage prospect, I might consider a compromise. No, not a hyphenate. Either two last names or one that is legal and one that is more like a nickname. I’ll be Mrs. So-and-So in my personal life and Ms. Me in my professional one. I’m also of a mind not to commingle funds. That’s not to say we wouldn’t share expenses, I’m just a control freak who wants to be in charge of her money. Although, if I’m married it’s legally not my money. It’s “our money”, right?
>I was actually disappointed that my wife chose to take my name. But it was her decision. Unfortunately, her mother insists on addressing mail to "Mrs. John L." which drives me up the wall. You gave your daughter a name, use it!
I do think joint accounts are a good idea (with some set aside). Emergencies happen and one of you may need fast access to cash. Plus, you're right, it's legally "our money."
>My legal name is now Michelle Maidenname Marriedname. I expected to keep my maiden name when I married mostly because I really liked it. It was nice and French. My husband felt strongly about me changing my name. I don't recall all of his reasons now, but I wanted to marry him, and I didn't feel as strongly as he did, so I changed my name. Our compromise was that any children we produced/acquired would have my maiden as their middle names. And they do.
If we end up divorced, I would change my name back.
>It's maddening when I'm trying to research ancestors and the women are listed as Mrs. John Blahblahblah or Mrs. Henry Soandso on various documents. Did women have to give up their first names too when they got married before 1975? Sheesh!
I like Michelle's compromise. When I still considered the notion of childbearing briefly in my youth, I too thought giving the kids my maiden name as a middle name was a good idea.
>I thought my fiance was a pretty cool guy. Handsome, successful, smart, funny, generous. I couldn't wait to take his name. I was and still am really proud to have it. I like that we share it. I never really felt like I was giving up me – more like I was getting to be part of a really awesome duo.
We also have everything joint and I run the show. I have a little bit of that control freak streak as well. He trusts me implicitly with the money, I pay the bills, invest religiously, and it works for us. Neither one of us is nuts with money so it works. For those couples where one person can't control themselves, then it's probably best they have their own little side accounts of mad money. Everyone's different. I'm happy with things being a little more traditional. 🙂
>I've always wanted to change my name to my wife's last name whenever I got married. That was unheard of 15 years ago when there was still a chance at me having a life. Now I bet I could get away with it.