>A real MENSA candidate

>When I was younger, I was smarter. Not in the sense of knowing more about the world, but in the my brain was more wrinkled sense.

Pretty sure I killed too many brain cells in college.

Which is ironic since college is supposed to be about higher learning, right? Well, I certainly learned about something high.

Anyway, last year I got it into my now smoother brain that I should take the MENSA test. People kept telling me that I was smart and I needed to break out of my comfort zone and meet some new folks.

I honestly still don’t believe that I’m intelligent. But, I took a sample test and supposedly, I’m smarter than 97% of you. The test estimated my IQ to be between 129 & 132. Who knows what the margin of error is on that thing. Probably 50%.

So, I signed up to take the test…which happened the day after my brother in law’s 40th birthday.

Yes, I took the test while hungover. I failed it before it even began.  Or did I even have a chance?

Here’s the thing…I’m not really a big believer in standardized testing being more favorable to one race or sex, but after the crap I saw on that test, I’m sort of thinking there might be some credence to that theory.

First of all, how many of you have change in your pocket or purse right now? How many of you only have it because you happened to have a small bill and didn’t want to bother with exact change?

How many of you even have cash in your wallet? My guess is very few and not just because you’re poor like me.

So, a big part of the test centered around being able to count change, make change or interpret variations of US coinage. Pretty sure I haven’t been concerned about coins outside of the occasional parking meter feed since 1998.

What was I saying? Oh yeah, I’m not smart anymore. Just smart enough to be annoyed when people do stupid things and baffled by human behavior in general, but not smart enough to join a club.

So, it would probably be better to kill a few more brain cells through copious amounts of legal substances and bring my level intelligence back within range of the average person. Heck, maybe it would be easier to find a date then.

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