Online Dating Chronicles: Rules are rules?

 

What’s with me and the chatters? I don’t get it. Why don’t guys want to meet in person? Why are you wasting my damn time? Either grow a pair and ask me out or leave me the hell alone.

The latest guy I’ve been chatting with went dark over the Thanksgiving holiday. I was the last one to send him a message. Honestly, I can’t even remember where our conversation had been going because after 4 days, I wrote him off. I’d seen he had logged in, but no message.

So of course, today he sends me a message “How was your Thanksgiving?”

Really? Sigh.

Weren’t we in the middle of a conversation? Wasn’t there a rhythm to the messages? Aren’t you supposed to say, “Sorry it took me so long to reply, but I had to go visit my Aunt Nelly in Bakersfield. The drive was awful!”

I mean lie if you want, but at least adhere to the rules of online dating etiquette!

Are there rules of etiquette? Well, I’m making them up if not.

  1. The longest amount of time acceptable between message/reply is 24 to 36 hours. Any more than that and explanation is required or you might as well quit the field. Less is better if you want to meet in person more quickly.
  2. Don’t wink then message. Choose one or the other. Preferably send a message. It’s easy for robots to wink.
  3. The first message does not need to be an entire description of your life. A simple pithy comment on my profile will suffice, thank you!
  4. Don’t send your phone number in the initial message. Hello, my name is Creep.
  5. For the love of all that’s holy, this isn’t a text message. Spell everything out. Use correct punctuation. Press the shift key!
  6. The dating doesn’t actually occur on the website. The website is a means to an end. It means we chat enough to see if you are sane and then we end up meeting in a bar for a date.

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