>Online Dating Advice and Random Thoughts 3.0

>Don’t ever, ever, ever, ever, ever…ever say in your headline or anywhere else in your profile “Willing to lie about how we met…” or some variation thereof. If I have to explain why, you really need to delete your online dating account now.

Another word to avoid: Intimacy. Just don’t use it. It’s about as icky as using the word kiss or snuggle. While those things are nice, please don’t bring them up to total strangers. Maybe it’s me, but I’d rather here about your obsession with college football or beer.  At least those topics can be ice breakers!

Under the show don’t tell category: “I’m in shape,” or any variation thereof will be evident through your photos. While you are at it, why don’t you explain your eye and hair color to me too? Oh and keep your shirt on guys. You might really be in shape, but a topless photo of a guy isn’t sexy. It’s really cheesy and a little desperate.

Here’s another mystery to be solved: Why put in your profile that your subscription has ended or will end shortly? It’s nice in a way because then I don’t waste my time attempting to communicate with that guy, but why not just hide/remove your profile all together? I marvel at the guys who try to code their email addresses into their profiles. Really? I’m so going to contact you right now! That’s safe for me, NOT. Yes, I’m bringing back “NOT”.

You know what would be nice? If some how you could sort out the fools who “just want to chat” from the grown-ups who actually want to meet for a date. I spent two weeks of time communicating with a guy when he finally tells me he’s just interested in chatting for now. Thanks for wasting my time, jasswipe! In fact, you really should put this disclaimer in your profile.

Correct me if I’m wrong guys, but my theory is a guy who only wants to chat already has a girlfriend or wife. What I don’t understand is why bother spending the money to chat with people when you can do that for free on a whole bunch of other sites. I thought the whole point of spending money on a dating site was to in fact go on a date in real life.

And why is it OK for men to say they definitely want children? If a woman says it her biological clock is ticking and she’s desperate. Seriously, this double standard needs to have the kibosh put on it. Either everyone is desperate or it’s OK for everyone, please decide society. Regardless, I still refuse to get pregnant.

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