I’m not really a morning person. I get up early because I like to find a decent parking spot at work. Like everyone else, I’m pretty much just going through the motions between 5:30 AM an 7:00 AM. This morning, I probably scared my roommate with a few screeches. There was a fly in my bathroom.
Now, stop snickering. First I was just annoyed by it’s overly loud buzzing as it flew repeatedly into the lights and mirror with seeming randomness. Then it started getting closer to me. Buzzing by my head. Back to slamming itself into the mirror and lights.
Buzzzzzzz…Buzzzz….Buzz..right into my chest! What the hell?!?
Normally, I would spray the thing with enough Windex to either kill it or slow it down enough for me to snatch it up with some toilet paper and flush my cares away.
But, seeing as how I just sprayed a bleach based cleaner in the shower, I thought maybe the ammonia fumes would be a toxic mix and dying today just doesn’t fit into my current plans. So, I did nothing. Well, I fumed. (Rim shot)
I slowly continued to apply moisturizer to my face while keeping one eye on the buzzing menace. Which flew into my boobs again!! Dammit!
That’s when I realized the fly was dying because it landed on the counter, lying on its back, flailing in an attempt to flip over.
Hello, toilet paper! Goodbye fly!
The fly met its doom because nothing is allowed to touch my boobs twice without my permission.
That fly got off easy. If I’d have been there, I would have ripped off his wings, started him on fire, put him in the freeze, and repeatedly bash his little insect head in as I jumped up and down on his corpse. No one is allowed to touch your boobs BUT ME!!! #shakesfist
Ha! Is it odd that I think that’s sweet? 🙂
“Nothing is allowed to touch my boobs twice without my permission.”
HA HA HA!
This is why I love you.