My boss told me not to be a putz today. I’m probably going to be one because not being one is the smart thing to do and I’m over being smart. Being responsible and doing the right thing has gotten me nowhere in life.
Oh sure, I have a great job, good credit, no criminal record and no children outside of wedlock. Wait, do we all not care about that anymore? Whatever.
I’m just tired. Yes, I should buy a condo, but for some reason, I just don’t want to. (Stomps foot).
I kind of just want to find a roommate, save some money and travel. Well, I guess I wouldn’t be saving much money if I’m traveling, but I don’t know if I’m ready for the responsibility of home ownership. Maybe when I’m 40. Let’s set the bar for that year. Will I be priced out of the market then? Maybe. But, if I buy a place now, there are a lot of other “what ifs” that scare me…
Like, what if my car breaks down and I have to buy another one? What if I lose my job? What if I get sick? What if I hate where I live and can’t rent it out because I can’t afford to get a mortgage for a second place in a better area? What if I don’t have enough up front money to buy it?
That’s my biggest fear. That I don’t have enough money for a down payment and to pay for closing costs. Maybe these are just excuses when the reality is that I’m not ready for that commitment.
In years past when I’ve had big life decisions to make, I knew what I wanted to do and did it without fear. Sure I could have what if’d myself right out of moving to the City, or moving to Sacramento, but doing those things felt right at the time and I didn’t worry about the future, I just did what I needed to do to achieve my goal.
So, I’m baffled as to why I’m faltering. Maybe I just don’t want to do it. Didn’t I already say that?