Yes, I complain about dating. It’s a huge source of frustration. One minute you think things are going well and the next…you run for the hills or he runs for the hills, so I vent about it here on my blog. Of course, it’s not all bad, otherwise I wouldn’t be doing it. There’s the hope of something fun. I have met quite a few interesting men. None of them have worked out. Mostly because they decided to pursue love elsewhere, but sometimes, albeit rarely, I decide to change my course.
What makes me decide that someone is not dating material? Here are a few of mine in no particular order, of course.
- Drug use. While I might be a proponent of legalizing marijuana, that does not mean I partake. It’s illegal right now and even if you do have a “prescription” for it, you’re not fooling me. It’s one thing if you indulge at a random event, it’s another if it’s a regular part of your life.
- Violence. I have been lucky. I have not personally experienced this situation and it seems silly that I should even have to list it. It’s obvious right? But common sense does not always prevail in matters of the heart, so it goes on the list.
- Not single. How do I define this? Are you legally married? I don’t care if you are living separate lives and have been for “quite a while”. Unless there is a piece of paper at the county recorders office that says you are divorced or there isn’t one that says you are married, I am not interested. If you are living with a woman, who if she found out we were on date would get really angry, I am not interested.
- Awful kisser. Now, there are bad kissers and there are awful kissers. Bad kissers are usually just nervous or need some practice. Awful kissers cannot be overcome. When they kiss you, “What the hell is that?!?” rings through your consciousness and the feeling of bliss that normally accompanies a kiss is replaced by a feeling of confusion and embarrassment. These people are rare. I often wonder how they go through life being so horrible at this basic sex move. It’s not easy to tell someone (you might not know that well) that what they are doing to your face is really fucking weird.
- Prison record. Honestly, I get a little skittish when I hear a guy has a DUI. Sure, it’s fairly common and not a deal breaker for most people. And if it was a one time indiscretion that happened years and years ago, I will probably not care about it. But a guy who has actually been to prison? No way. That scares the hell out of me.
- Tattoos & piercings. I’m not 18 anymore. It’s fine if a guy has a random tattoo that you can’t really see unless his shirt is off or there’s a story behind the one on his arm. But anymore than that and I don’t think we are living in the same grown up world. And piercings? Gross. Pierced ears are fine, but anything else? I don’t want to know and I don’t want to see it.
- Kids. Now, I will date a man who already has kids. But if he wants me to produce children? Forget it. A divorced dad is usually not the primary care giver to his children, anyway. Personally, I think this is bunk. There is no reason he should be let off so easily. My opinion is that women are forced by society and guilted into the role whether or not they are fit. So, until society changes, dating a divorced/single man with kids is almost like dating a guy without kids. But, I won’t date a guy who desperately wants to have children of his own. I can’t stand babies. Sure, they are cute and cuddly, but the thought of having to raise one scares me. I don’t want to put that on a guy who hasn’t yet come to that realization. Let him live in his fantasy world. I’m not going to squash it.