Minnesota State Fair: Preview

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Courtesy of Minnesota State Fair

Photo Credit: Minnesota State Fair

The Minnesota State Fair runs from August 22nd to Labor Day (September 2nd) and since this will be my first real state fair, I’m trying to prepare for my visit.

Come on, California, you know our state fair is kind of sad. Regardless, I’m looking forward to the “Great Minnesota Get-together.” Apparently, about 34% of the state goes to this shindig. If that doesn’t blow your mind, you have no idea how many people that is (1.79 million).

Photo Credit: Minnesota State Fair

Photo Credit: Minnesota State Fair

So, as I’m bracing for my crowd-phobia to kick into overdrive, I’m trying to figure out which events and attractions I want to check out in the one day I will be in attendance. Of course, I want to see the butter sculpture. I mean it’s a sculpture…in butter! But, what else?

I scroll through the Fun Finder and see this listed…Pet Surgery. That’s right you can watch a dog get neutered. WHAT THE HELL, MINNESOTA? I’m sorry. I know it’s probably educational on some level, but it skeeves me out. I don’t really need to see that.

I’m a little disappointed that the robot competition isn’t a fight to the death…for the robots of course.

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And unless Al Franken is going to bust out some Stuart Smalley for us all, I’m really not interested in seeing him speak. I’m at a fair. I don’t need politics. I need some deep fried food and booze.

I will admit a little interest in the lumberjack show. I mean I am living in the state that claims Paul Bunyan as a native son…even if he is fictional. But, I definitely want to see the pie, jams, and other homemade goods competitions. I mean who wouldn’t be in awe of a wall of bread? And the “Land of 10,000 Beers?” Yes, please!

Did I mention that the official Rin Tin Tin will be at the state fair? He’s the 12th. Seriously, whose job is it to designate Rin Tin Tins?

Photo Credit: Minnesota State Fair

Photo Credit: Minnesota State Fair

Speaking of food (bad transition), there’s a booth that just sells milk at the state fair. But hey, they have white and chocolate. Isn’t white milk just milk? Shouldn’t that be plain? I mean we are describing flavors here not colors.

Then of course, there are all the foods on a stick. The Food Finder let’s you sort by “on a stick” which is very convenient for silly people like me. I mean who wouldn’t want bacon, grilled pork chops, lamb chops, cheese, candy bars, fried fruit, and of course…a pickle? What’s in that photo? A fudge puppy. It’s a Belgian waffle on a stick dipped in chocolate and served with various toppings.

About the Minnesota State Fair
The Minnesota State Fair is one of the largest and best-attended expositions in the world, attracting nearly 1.8 million visitors annually. Showcasing Minnesota’s finest agriculture, art and industry, the Great Minnesota Get-Together is always Twelve Days of Fun Ending Labor Day. The 2013 Minnesota State Fair runs Aug. 22-Labor Day, Sept. 2

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