Today I was scrolling through the internet when this paraphrase from Sweet Home Alabama burst into my awareness. There was an article about a bar in Minnesota that installed a vending machine containing pregnancy tests for three dollars.
This makes NO sense. Who the hell ever finds themselves in a bar going, “I wonder if I’m pregnant?” Sure, those thoughts have a higher chance of happening in a bathroom, but I would think they occur earlier in the day when “morning sickness” might occur. You know in the morning?
This quote from the Yahoo article made me laugh and cringe.
The advertisement on the dispenser reminds women to test each time they decide to have a drink of alcohol to ensure their child will be born with an alcohol-free fetal development,” according to the Healthy Brains for Children site
I don’t know what the hell these people are thinking. Shouldn’t you take the test AFTER a night of drinking? Put them in a Starbucks restroom instead maybe. That seems a little more logical.
Whenever I have a glass of wine I’m supposed to think, “Could I be pregnant?” Maybe it’s just me, but that’s not exactly a common question in my brain. Are people having sex so causally that it’s not even noticed like breathing? I doubt it. Then again, I have standards and always use a condom, so what do I know? Damn standards keeping me celibate.
A better vending machine in most bars would be one that sells condoms. Were people not paying attention in health class when we learned where babies come from? If any class needed your full attention, it was that day.
In fact, it shocks me that there are still people out there who eschew condoms or think people don’t have sex outside of marriage. People have always had sex outside of marriage. Why is this so difficult to fathom?