Wedding Advice: 5 things no one tells you and neither will I

Did my  crafty title suck you in?  Of course, it did.  It sounds like one of the plethora of Buzzfeed posts.

Here’s the thing about planning weddings: They are stressful as fuck.

weddings, nuptials, freak out, calm downIt doesn’t matter if you are running off to Vegas to get hitched in front of a few close family and friends like me or if you are planning a huge shindig with 200 people.  It’s going to stress you out.

I’m a control freak. I fully admit it.  My biggest problem is managing the money.  This wedding is turning into a money monster and only 20 people are coming.  At every corner I find myself draining more and more of my bank account.  While I managed to pay less than $50 for my dress, the amount I spent for the photographer gives me minor panic attacks when I think about it.  I know in the end it will be worth the price, but right now I’m having a little freak out.

We’re not going into debt for the wedding.  I refuse to start out our marriage in debt.  If we honestly cannot afford something, it’s not happening.  There’s nothing wrong with living within your means.

Then of course, I worry about silly things I cannot control. You know, like, people dying before the ceremony. Will everything go off without a hitch? Did I remember to take care of everything? People talk to me about what I’ve been doing to get ready and then they ask me…did you take care of blah, blah, blah?  I wasn’t even thinking about that! Dammit! Now I have to spend more money because if I don’t have blah, blah, blah, I’m going to be annoyed.

I try to make lists.  It does help me get some perspective.

That’s my real problem. I keep losing perspective.  When I stop and think about this wedding and reception, I get a happy feeling.  I can see in my mind, Paul and me smiling. I can see the guests having a good time.

Here’s my advice to you, unless you are just going to elope, don’t take on any other hobbies or commitments while you are planning your wedding. I had to contend with the coldest goddamn winter Minnesota has seen in 30 years or something.  Believe me, that was a stressor I didn’t need.

Personally, I only have so much brain power to go around.  I swear my stress is making me have holes in my memory. When you have alot going on, it’s tough to remember everything.

Also, don’t go on a diet.  For the love of all that’s holy, just accept yourself as you are.  You are beautiful. Say it with me, “I am beautiful.” If you just want to feel healthy, then by all means, start eating better and getting some exercise, but don’t do it because you want to look good in photos.  You are going to create stress for yourself when you don’t need it.

Let your personality come through at your wedding and reception.  There is no law that says you have to wear a $3,000 white gown.  You don’t even have to wear white if you don’t want.  Heck, you don’t even have to wear a dress if that’s not who you are.  Do what you want.  Don’t do things to please others because then no one is going to be happy.

8 thoughts on “Wedding Advice: 5 things no one tells you and neither will I

  1. Anna

    This made me laugh! And you are so right! I get stressed out for my friends who are planning weddings and I just want to shake them and say the only thing that matters is the vows you will be speaking!

    1. Amy Ruiz Post author

      Thanks! Honestly, it’s the money thing that stresses me out the most. I’m trying to get some perspective on it. At least I know I have a problem. 🙂

  2. Jen

    I love this post. I’m the maid of honor for my best friend’s wedding and I can surely attest that it’s a lot of work. Thanks for posting! 🙂

    <3 Jen via #SITSblogging

    1. Amy Ruiz Post author

      Thank you for reading! Now that everything is pretty much set, the stress is less, but it could roar up at any moment. I’m trying to just enjoy the moment and keep things in perspective. For me it’s the money thing that stresses me out the most.

  3. Janelle @ Run With No Regrets

    That’s awesome that your wedding dress was under $50! I’m not married or engaged…I have no idea how I would come to grips with all the planning required for a wedding, I would definitely go crazy (I’m a control freak too)! I’m dropping by from SITS…very funny post! 🙂

    1. Amy Ruiz Post author

      Thanks! I knew years and years ago that I didn’t want a big wedding. I never really gave it much thought beyond Vegas and small. There was really only one or two months of freaking out and I tried to keep it in perspective. Now I’m on cruise control for the most part and just trying to enjoy each moment as it comes.

  4. Rachel G

    I planned my wedding in 2 months, and honestly, I think a rather short time frame creates less stress because you physically don’t have enough time to think of tons of stuff. So you just have to go with the basics. 😛 Good for you, not going into debt for your wedding! No wedding would be worth that.

    1. Amy Ruiz Post author

      Thanks! We sort of did the same thing. I mean we really started working on it during Christmas, which basically gave everyone just under 3 months to get ready. We had been talking about it for some time and had general ideas, but once we finally said, “This is happening,” we only had 3 months to finalize the details.


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