>In a recent story published by “Duh” magazine, it was reported that adults without children are happier than those with children. No, I’m not making that up. I did read it on the Internet, but on Shine by Yahoo. The article asks if the new trend is to be a parent who hates parenting. I’m pretty sure since time immemorial parents have hated parenting it’s just that no one really talked about it. Let’s face it. Being a parent is a thankless job.
Back in the day, I don’t think people had kids because it was fun. They had kids because that’s what society expected them to do or they just were too stupid to know that having sex led to having kids. I often ask myself why people today have kids. Ignorance? Instinct? Loneliness? Fate? Heck, for all I know there are still a few people out there who fall into the societal expectations category. Regardless, nowadays people have a way to vent their frustrations in a public forum, so you get this notion that suddenly everyone doesn’t like parenting. Like I said, I’m pretty sure our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and so on didn’t see being parent as all rainbows and flowers. They just dealt with it as best they could.
>Although it is changing, society still expects it.
>You are right. I think alot of people get married & have kids because they think it's what they are supposed to do, not what they want to do.
>Devil's Advocate signing in now. My mother continuously reminds me that having children was the best thing to ever happen to her. She was in a horrible car accident when she was young that broke her back in seven places and crushed her pelvis, and she was informed as a teenager that she'd never be able to become pregnant due to the internal damage. She knew she'd never be able to have kids and made peace with it. Three months after getting married, she was pregnant with my older brother. Shocked as hell? Yes. She had just bought a 2-seater Datsun sports car. But she liked him enough to try to have me. Now she's 57 years old and says the happiest days of her life were chasing us kids around to sporting events and she couldn't imagine not having us in her life. I've been wavering on whether or not to have kids for years, but I think she might be on to something . . .
>The thing about people telling other people to have kids is that no one is unbiased. If you have kids, you pretty much have to say that it was the best thing ever or you are a horrible person, right? I don't think that, but it's society's general view.
If you don't have kids, you can't speak to the experience except for blips of babysitting, so you can't really say whether or not it's a good thing.
Personally, if there is something inside you that says you really want to have kids, by all means do it, but go into it with open eyes. Don't do it because you think it's the next inevitable step in life… like going from the first grade to the second grade.