Face Your Fears Wednesday: A Doctor Visit

Women’s health is a big issue these days, but I hate going to the doctor. It’s a good thing I’m healthy.

I know. I know.

Regardless if it’s my gynecologist or primary care, my germophobia gets triggered. But, when I go to the gyno, it takes an emotional toll on me as an added fear bonus. I don’t like getting prodded & probed. It doesn’t hurt. It just feels really, really weird and uncomfortable. My doctor is great. She’s very caring and tries to make me feel relaxed and comfortable emotionally as well as physically. I don’t feel intimidated at all. I feel like she genuinely cares about my health.

Am I the only woman who almost has an emotional breakdown after a visit to the gynecologist? It seems really stupid and I don’t know why I do it. I try to relax and let her do what she needs to do, but my body doesn’t want her in there.

I know a friend of mine takes a Xanax before her doctor visit. It doesn’t sound like a bad idea. I try to schedule my appointment in the afternoon, so I don’t have to go back to work. Things don’t always happen the way I want them to, so now I feel like an idiot because my emotional stability is questionable and I need to go back to work.

Why do I let myself get freaked out? It’s just a routine exam. I’m healthy. Millions of women go through it every day. Although getting my blood pressure checked freaks me out a bit too, so it seems reasonable that a speculum will cause me some distress.

I know. At this point in my life, going to the gyno should be routine. But when you aren’t sexually active for years on end and don’t have any issues with your menses, going to the doctor seems pointless. Again, I hear you berating me. I know that there can be issues that don’t manifest themselves and only a doctor will know. I’m not stupid. I’m scared.

But I faced my fear and went because that’s what adults do. One good thing, my blood pressure is normal even while I was freaking out in my head.

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