It’s rare that I go into any situation without an exit strategy. Now that I think about it, most aspects of my life include a way out, or at the very least, a back up plan. Isn’t everyone like this or do I have commitment issues?
I honestly can’t even think of any moment when I didn’t think of a way to either deal with negative consequences or to get out of something. It’s not that I always have one foot out the door. I just like to know where the exits are. Maybe that’s the same thing. If a situation isn’t boring me, I’m afraid something will happen so it disappears, be it a job, a relationship (not that I’ve had many of them), or even a social occasion.
Maybe I’m just a paranoid freak or maybe I’m always bored. I was thinking about this at work the other day and then again today when I made some social commitments. It’s like a knee jerk reaction. “Well, if I don’t like it, I can always leave,” seems to be my mantra for dealing with most things.
Then again, in my love life, I don’t usually look for the exits. I try to just enjoy the moment. Mostly, the men leave before I even notice that I should have been heading for the door, too. In every other aspect of life, I seem to be doing fine. Maybe I should have a more cautious attitude when it comes to love.
You know what? Fuck it. Life is short. I’m not going to regret enjoying myself, past, present or future.
I love this thought! I always need to know… just in case, but I don’t think I have a fear of commitment!