>You want me to celebrate what?

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Cards I should send out

Bust out the confetti, funny hats, and champagne…it’s National Singles Week. Excuse me, National Unmarried & Single Americans Week.

I know Hallmark didn’t make up this holiday. It looks like some random dude made up that holiday. I wonder if he was drunk in a bar, lonely and horny when he came up with it. It’s not a very good pick up line, “Hey, Baby, did you know it was National Single’s Week?”

Why do I always assume guys start off a conversation in a bar by saying “Hey, Baby…” Clearly, I’ve never been picked up on in a bar and watch way too many cheesy movies.

Excuse me, this “holiday” was started in Ohio back in the 80s by the Buckeye Singles Council. What the hell could that have been? A Singles Council? Don’t they create councils to fix problems like unemployment and violent crimes?

“There’s no shame in being single.”  Thanks for the breaking news there, Walter Cronkite.

I know, I shouldn’t get so defensive. There are 99 million Americans who are unmarried, but I still can’t find a date for Friday night.

Speaking of…Match.com is officially annoying me.

Not because I am unhappy with the caliber of men I am seeing, but due to a strange technical error. Apparently, all the men who are subscribers and look at my profile are not showing up in my “Who’s Viewed Me” list. This just blows my mind for two reasons:

  1. How many men have checked me out and I had NO CLUE about them 
  2.  How many men have I shunned believing them to be robots or spammers because they sent me a message, but didn’t show up in that list?

I sent them an email bringing up this issue. We’ll see if they remedy it or if they say it’s user error.

Back to the topic at hand, in an effort to celebrate National Unmarried & Single Americans Week, I will buy myself candy, send myself flowers and take myself out to a nice dinner. And if you believe any of that, please return to your DVD of the Notebook or Nights in Rodanthe.

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