Five Predictions for 2014

humor, funnyDid you know I have a crystal ball? Seriously. Mostly, it just looks pretty in our home, but today I put it to use. What does the future hold? What will happen in 2014? Yes, I made predictions!

1) A celebrity will do and/or say something stupid, ridiculous, and distracting. Come on, people haven’t you figured this crap out yet? It’s a public relations stunt. Someone somewhere is paying someone else somewhere else to talk about something. It doesn’t matter who it is or what they did. People of all types do and say dumb things all the time. It shouldn’t be newsworthy, but sadly it is. Stop paying attention to the shiny object.

2) Something will be at war that can’t actually be warring. Christmas is usually a good topic, but I think people are bored with that subject. I’ve seen cupcakes, Halloween, and storage lockers go to war on TV. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Apologies to Edwin Starr. Can we just stop having things battle that are not inherently at odds? Why can’t TV shows just teach us something? There are other plots aside from A vs B, even if they are manufactured through the editing process.

3) The government will do something you don’t like. Have you voted? If not, be quiet. If so, do something about it during the next election. Also, pick up a spy novel every now and then. These “revelations” about spying are not revelations to people who read that genre.

4) Some incredibly dumb woman will become famous and have no discernible talent. Unless of course you count the ability to create a sex tape a talent…maybe it is. I don’t know. Here’s a question, how come a man hasn’t become famous by releasing a sex tape?

5) A meme will appear on the internet (Facebook more likely than not) that was disproved 10 years ago by Snopes.com, but one or more of your friends and/or family members will think it’s true. Like this status if you love puppies and kitten, ignore if you’re a heartless asshole.

Bonus: I will assume a reputable news site has reprinted a story from theOnion.com (or other parody site) because truth is stranger than fiction. And in one case, I might be correct!

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