>Online Dating: The "Never Mind" Conundrum


There are hard and fast rules of engagement for interacting with people in real life. Say, please and thank you. Shake hands when you first meet someone.

But, what do you do when you find yourself not interested in a person you’ve been sending emails to on an online dating site?

Do you send them the canned “Thanks, but no thanks.” notification most online dating sites provide even though you might be 4 messages in?

Do you just craft your own “Now that I think about it, we’re not really compatible.” or “I’m not even excited to read your messages, why would I want to meet you in person?” message? Or do you just give them the radio silence treatment?

I suppose in this instance, I should consider how I would want a guy to treat me. Maybe a little white lie would be fine. Something like, “I’ve met someone and want to see where it goes with them. Thanks for the messages!” Then again, when I’m just at the messaging stage, I’m OK with radio silence. If we meet in person, I would like a “thanks, but no thanks” type message. Especially, if you’ve given me “buy signs” like talking about getting together again.

Either way, getting dumped, blown off or whatever is not pleasant or pretty. But, the sooner one realizes that the interest is not there, the better.

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