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>I find myself in a strange situation. In all of my past relationships, I was the one who got dumped.  I am the Queen of Being Dumped.  It’s a role I’m familiar with, probably too much so…Regardless, yesterday I found myself in the role of being the one who dumped.  I didn’t really know that’s what I was doing.  I was under the assumption the guy I’ve been dating had dumped me.

It’s all a mess.  I really like this guy, but his lack of communication makes me nuts.  All I needed was an update, a quick reply to know what the hell was going on with him and all I kept finding was radio silence.  Of course, I’m summarizing and simplifying here, but there were many reasons for me to try to pursue a relationship with him.  First of all, we have a lot in common, a rarity in the online dating world or even the dating world in general.  I had two of the best dates I’ve ever had with this guy.  It was like all of those moments I had only dreamed of having on a date, happened with him.  Second of all, he’d read my blog and still wanted to date me.  A huge reason that.

His follow through is awful and my imagination and insecurities are too strong apparently.  The straw that broke this camel’s back happened last weekend.  He was away on a trip for a week and a half.  This is not a fact that annoyed me.  I was ready to wait for this guy.  Heck, I’d stopped my online dating search…that’s how much I like him.  The problem began when I didn’t hear a peep from him while he was away even though he said he’d keep in contact.  Then, I left him a voicemail message after he’d been gone for a week and received no acknowledgment that he’d even received said message.   I waited three days before I got pissed off, but tried to keep my disappointment under control because there are logical reasons why someone wouldn’t reply to me.

When he didn’t call me after he returned from the trip like he said he would, I gave up.  It had been two weeks since I’d heard from him and a week between each of my attempts at communication with him.  I wasn’t asking for his attention on a daily basis.  Hell, there was a good month in between our two dates.  But, I do expect common courtesy a person would give to friends. 

I did learn something about myself.  I am more mature than I give myself credit. I don’t give myself enough credit in most aspects of my life, but I’m getting over that.    I tried to do this whole thing on the phone, but couldn’t get a hold of him, so I had to resort to texting.  It’s kind of hard to break up with someone when they won’t take your calls.

I feel terrible if I broke his heart and wish things could have worked out between us.  He told me he just couldn’t seem to fit me into his life.  I want to tell him that if he can’t fit ME into his life, he’s going to have a hard time fitting any gal into his life.  I’m fairly low maintenance and flexible.  Most women would have moved on far sooner than I did.  I think the honest truth is that I didn’t inspire him enough to make me fit into his life.  If he really wanted me in his life, he’d have found a way to make it happen.

So, now I go boldly back into the online dating scene…what adventures await me?  Stay tuned…

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