>Even more online dating advice you won’t take

>1) Don’t, and I cannot stress this enough, don’t put your age in your “About Me” section.  First of all, it’s already going to show up in the vital statistics section where you have lied about your height and body type.  Second, unless you don’t plan to use the site for more than 3 months, your age in the vital statistics section will not match up with your description.  In fact, I just saw a guy whose age was off by FOUR YEARS in his description.  Either he forgot he didn’t lie when signing up or he’s too dumb to refresh his description every year or so.

2) Also, don’t put “I’ll update this later.”  You are only fooling yourself.  I know you are just too lazy to take the time to write something interesting.  And even if you really do intend to come back later and update it, saying so is still pretty lame.  You probably just listed a bunch of adjectives after starting the sentence, “I am…”  I am honest, smart, funny, nice, and attractive.  Sound familiar?  Some people try to blame their lame attempts at describing themselves on their friends.  “My friends say that I am…” And yet again another list of overused adjectives follows.  Are you really going to start a conversation with someone because they say they are nice?  How about if they say they are a left handed batter, but a right handed pitcher? 

3) I can’t believe I have to say this, but take some damn photos. Don’t scan your photos from 10 years ago.  Before the prevalence of cameras in cell phones, people used to use the excuse, “This is the only photo I can upload.”  This old bait and switch routine won’t fly now.  Take a picture of yourself now, but for the love of all that’s holy don’t do it in the bathroom mirror!

4) Another photo tip, lose the hat and sunglasses. Sure you might look mysterious, but I need to see your face if you want me to go on date with you.  Like I’ve said before, the eyes are the window to the soul and are a great way for me to tell if you are a screwball or not.