As much as I like complaining about dating, there has to be something good about it or I wouldn’t keep doing it, right?
I mean it’s awesome to get attention from a guy even if it is just via an electronic message. Plus, it’s nice to have a viable love life. I mean being able to say I have a date is better than what I usually tell people…which is nothing.
Man, I can’t even be positive when I try.
Why does all the damn dating advice make me think I have to change or be perfect? There are some royally screwed up people who get together. Maybe I’m not the right kind of weird? Maybe I need some mental issues… then I can trick a guy into a relationship with me. Like I have the time or the mental capacity for that task.
People ALWAYS say that it’ll happen when you aren’t thinking about it. I’m not thinking about it. I have alot of shit going on. I only think about it at night when I’m alone and have nothing else to do. You know, when I’m trying to fall asleep or there’s nothing good on TV.
I read an article last month in the New York Times that kind of gave me hope. Basically, it said it’s not that there’s anything wrong with me. It’s just that my timing is off. The stars haven’t aligned. I haven’t turned down the right street or stubbed my toe at the right cosmic moment.
So, I give up trying to follow any stupid rules. If I seem desperate, I don’t care. Waiting a specific amount of arbitrary time to contact someone is stupid. Why should I try to be cool? I’m so not and don’t apologize for my awkward eagerness. I’m not in junior high anymore.
Fuck it. I am just going to enjoy life and if a guy happens to come along who isn’t completely repulsed by me, so be it.