|How do I hate thee?
Let me count the ways
If hindsight is 20/20, after getting out of a relationship…it’s also as painful as seeing sunlight when you’ve got a hangover…especially a bad relationship.
Then it’s as bad a tequila fueled bender hangover…hopefully no one got pregnant.
Just like everyone one else, I’ve got trust issues.
Specifically, I’m convinced that men will cheat on me…that, in fact, no man is capable of being monogamous. I really want to be wrong about that fear, but I have yet to experience fidelity first hand.
Granted, I haven’t had that much experience with long term relationships, but that’s a whole different blog post.
So, what happens in my mind is that I don’t see men as human.
There, I finally admitted it out loud.
They haven’t treated me very well, so I cannot bring myself to believe that they have emotions…hence why I call them robots.
See, I tried to warn you all that I’m an awful person.
And yet, I can’t help but find them attractive. It’s not logical. It’s beyond logic. Is it love? Possibly. You know how they talk about love at first sight? Yep. That happens to me alot.
I fall in love so fast, it makes my head spin. I can’t see that the man in front of me has little to no interest in even talking to me, much less going out on a date. The hormonal rush of attraction usually obliterates my common sense.
So, I act like a total fool, get hurt and whine about it in my blog, on Twitter, Facebook, through skywriting, smoke signals, and to random strangers in Target…I’m kidding. I can’t fly a plane.
Then today, I saw this tweet from a guy who has read my blog and chatted with me online for 7 years now.
Instead of getting all bent out of shape at what could be construed as a sexist remark, I just told him that he needed to pay better attention. It’s true. Most people let us know what’s going on with them in one way or another.
The problem is most of us are ill-equipped to see the signs of it…and then if you’re in love…forget it. That gut feeling you get about people being assholes is completely out of whack.
Such was the case with my friend Nick. A gal lied to him over & over again. He wasn’t able to see it until it was too late and he got hurt. We can all relate to that. Not one person on this planet can say they have only been in romantic comedy fairy tale relationships. If you can, well then the rest of us hate you. Sorry!
Someone at some point has or will stomp all over our hearts. Usually it’s unintentional. Sometimes…there are a few evil people lurking about who seem to enjoy bringing emotional pain to others or they just don’t care if their actions make you cry and want to drown your sorrows in Fritos & vodka.
Hopefully, Nick’s heart will come back from the ICU and be able to trust again. Heck, maybe one day I’ll be able to believe that all men aren’t cheaters. Anything is possible, right?