#LetsTalkBums: Cottonelle Clean Care Routine

Because I love free samples (and blogging) Crowdtap sent me a free sample of Cottonelle Fresh Care.  I know.  Who really wants to discuss what goes on in the bathroom? Well, there might be someone out there looking for a way to feel cleaner.  Stranger things have happened…like me moving to Minnesota. OK, that’s not strange, that was true love, but I digress.

Think about it. Babies have wipes.  Why can’t adults?  Why can we be as clean as them?


I’ve used other wipes and they didn’t measure up to Cottonelle.  They stung where Cottonelle just left me feeling clean.

I’m not suggesting throwing out toilet paper altogether. I’m saying, why not try adding wipes to your routine?

You might be thinking…but Amy, what about a bidet? Personally, I’ve never used a bidet. I’ve encountered them, but have been a little intimidated.  The one I saw had WAY too many buttons and what if I had to reset it? Where is the control-alt-delete?? Too much pressure.  I’ll just stick to low tech wipes.

They call it witchcraft

Halloween, costumeAs a child, I never wanted to be a princess. I wanted to be a witch. Needless to say, it’s my go to Halloween costume. And no, I don’t need to sex up my witch costume. I’m sexy and I know it.

Even as a teenager (and yes a little as an adult), I was fascinated by witches. They have magic powers. They get shit done. They don’t take crap. Sure they are sometimes evil, but there are evil princesses too. OK, I can’t think of any fictional versions off the top of my head, but I’m sure the image of a princess doesn’t exactly do wonders for female self-image. I mean they are usually in need of rescuing. Witches almost never have to be rescued. They get themselves out of danger most of the time.

Sure, witches have had a bad rap in the annals of history, but isn’t that really just some form of sexism? Aren’t (or hopefully weren’t) people threatened by the idea of a strong woman? I’m not really sure why men (or other women) are threatened by a confident, independent woman, but that seems to be the case throughout most of recorded history.

My favorite example of witchcraft is in the movie Practical Magic. Yes, I’ve read the book. It’s nothing like the movie. I like the idea of a woman who can conjure up things. I like the idea of a woman being able to defend herself. I also like the idea of a bunch of women coming together to help out one who needs it.

I don’t need a fairy godmother. I need a wand. Well, the really good witches didn’t even need wands.

Top Five Reasons Halloween is Awesome

pumpkin, halloween, fall, autumnNot to start a Halloween controversy, but these are the top five reasons why I love Halloween.  Your reasons for enjoying this festival of frights, magic, and possible Celtic rituals, might differ, but this isn’t your blog, so moving on…

  1. Candy. Seriously, this is really the main reason I love Halloween as a kid. Of course, now I can buy my own candy, I don’t have to go around the neighborhood and beg for it, but some really great candy choices are available in giant bags. If I bought a giant bag (or 3) of candy in the middle of July, people would think I’m nuts.
  2. Decorations. I love putting up all sorts of orange, black, brown, pumpkin, witch, cat, stuff all over the place. Oh, yes, and lights! I know, those are really Christmas-y, but I’ve fallen for the marketing and want to put up twinkling orange lights in my windows.
  3. TV Specials. OK, the only one I really look forward to is It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, but I also enjoy the occasional Halloween themed episode of a sitcom.
  4. No presents. All you have to do is give out candy to kids. They have those already pre-sorted in the store for you. You just have to buy the bag that you will eat after no one shows up at your door. You don’t have to fight crowds, stand in lines at 3:00 AM or search for bargains to do it.
  5. Costumes. I love to see how creative people get. Sure, there are the lazy ones who grab a black witch hat and call it a costume (me), but I thoroughly appreciate a person who put some thought and effort into their get up. Obscure early century cartoons, random historical figures, little known superheros (I’m looking at you Blue Raja), all wonderful.

Moving Chronicles: Drowning in boxes

moving, empty, cleanWhy do I have all of this stuff? Remember when my apartment was empty? I’m sure Paul does and wonders when in the hell it’s ever going to be clutter free again. I swear I’m having a mini-panic attack over the amount of crap piling up everywhere. I’m tempted to just chuck it all.

But then I actually open a box and find something I haven’t seen in two years. “Oh! I totally forgot I had this. Awesome!”

If I hadn’t gotten sick this week, I’d be further along in the process, and that kind of pisses me off. I hate getting sick. I don’t have time for it!

I just have to keep remembering that it took me a while to pack everything. It’s going to take me at least half that time to unpack it all. Plus, it’s good exercise, right?

My other problem is…where in the hell am I going to put it? I’m tired of shoving things into closets and just shutting the door. I want to have stuff that I use not that I think is interesting and might use one day.

I found a bunch of photos. PHOTOS. What in the hell do I do with those? Remember when people use to put them in albums? I found some of those too.

And my feng shui idea is giving me more anxiety than it is helping me get organized. I feel like all of the stuff I have is wrong. It’s all bad chi or will create bad chi if I put it in the wrong place.

Have I mentioned that I’m exhausted?

I need to stop being so hard on myself. I know why I have some of the crap I have. It’s not that I’m lazy. It’s just that I didn’t care about getting rid of it at the time…to paraphrase Office Space. At least, I’m getting rid of it now.

I just want to wave my hands and have all the clutter gone. Oooh. You know what would be great? Someone to give us an organization paradigm. Survey our apartment and furniture and recommend where to put what, what to toss, what to buy to help stay organized.

I used to dream of falling in love and being in a relationship with a wonderful man. Now that that dream has been accomplished, I want someone to organize the crap in our apartment.

Inappropriate Halloween Costumes: All new wrongness & Star Wars


Sassy is another word for sexy in costume marketing speak

Why is it that costumes for females are all pretty much the same? I mean for little girls and young teens they are all cutesy. For grown women they are almost all sexy. I even saw a sexy clown costume…what part of a clown is sexy?!? I found it in the Party City circular we received in the mail this past weekend. OK, it says Cotton Candy Clown, but personally, all I can see are her pushed up blue boobs.

So, I’ve been trolling the internet for a female costume that is funny. I saw a Princess Leia for babies that was kind of funny. I mean it had a hat for her bun hairdo. And of course this “Tween Domo Costume” is pretty funny, but they are obviously marketing it to boys even though it’s fairly unisex if you ask me. I did find this peanut butter and jelly costume for two people is good. I mean two friends could be in this “couples” costume. Ugh. A couples costume for kids makes me want to vomit a little. Let’s call it a paired costume… Less sexual innuendo.

You might remember the Sexy (or Sassy) Big Bird disaster of 2010. Thank you for that nightmare, Target.

Now don’t get me wrong. It’s OK for girls’ costumes to be cutesy, but I really wish there was more funny marketed to little girls. I feel like Halloween has been over-sexualized. Is that a word? Regardless, by the time a female grows up and wants to wear a costume, it’s almost as bad as wearing a bathing suit, which in this day and age is mostly a bikini.

Speaking of sexualization…have you seen this Darth Vader costume for women…

This is the costume that sparked this year’s affront to Halloween. First and foremost, I love Star Wars, but this is just wrong. And then I found this Adult X-Wing Fighter Dress…DRESS! Yes, I’m pretty sure any women who were flying X-Wings to fight the oppression of the Empire were wearing DRESSES!

Yes, I know. It’s fiction, but that’s not the point. This is just wrong on so many levels for me. If you want to dress like an X-Wing fighter, wear the jumpsuit, not the dress. If you want to be someone sexy from the Star Wars world, Han is pretty hot in his vest and Leia wore that metal bikini after being captured by Jabba the Hutt. Those are the ONLY acceptable sexy Star Wars costumes.  But, why would you go straight to the sex with Star Wars anyway?!?

Vader is supposed to be frightening, imposing, not sexy. Oh, and they also have sexy Storm Troopers. What’s next? A sexy Chewbacca? A sexy Yoda? George Lucas, what have you done?!?

Be nice to your teeth: A Review of Colgate SlimSoft

How often do you brush your teeth? I will admit to not doing it enough. I should brush after every meal, but I only brush twice a day. It’s really just a habit you need to get into and having a good toothbrush will help you maintain good dental hygiene.

Influenster sent me a sample of the new Colgate SlimSoft to review. One thing I have heard from dental professionals is that softer brushes are best for your teeth because it’s easier on the enamel. I always seek out soft brushes in the store, but they never seem soft enough…until now.

Seriously, this toothbrush is so soft and gentle. I never felt like my teeth weren’t getting clean and I’ve been using it for about a week now. Honestly, I threw out my old toothbrush after using this one. It’s the softness for which I’ve been searching.

I’ve always been a fan of Colgate products. I’ve tried other toothpastes and always go back to Colgate. Now, I will also use their toothbrushes. I used to try to find the cheapest toothbrush available, but now I can see that it’s probably not a good idea. Why save $2 when you can save the enamel on your teeth for that price? You loose enamel and you can never get it back. I’ll pony up the dough.

You might not think very much about your toothbrush, but you should. Good dental hygiene is important. And don’t forget to floss too! Like my sister told me, “You only floss the teeth you want to keep.”


Dating Chronicles: Thanks, but no thanks

Anyone who has spent even a few minutes in the dating world knows that people can be less than nice…OK, down right rude.  Most of the time though, you just get radio silence.  It’s sadly rare to get a respectful blow off.

Here’s the thing, rejection sucks.  The only thing you can do is treat someone the way you’d want to be treated in their shoes.

Today, I saw this post on Buzzfeed: This Is One Of The Most Brutal Responses To A Breakup Text You’ll Ever See.  It’s fascinating to see everyone react to it.

My initial reaction was, “What’s her problem? At least she didn’t get completely ignored.”

As someone who in the past has been dumped with regularity, seeing a guy respectfully say to her thanks, but no thanks, was refreshing.  Of course, I’ve said that to a guy and he didn’t take it well. I meant it sincerely, but his ego wanted to be pissed off.

Then I see she sent screen shots of text messages to his boss? Wow. Calm down there, lady.

This man didn’t wrong you as far as I can tell. He didn’t lie to you for years, physically or mentally abuse you, cheat on you with countless women and/or steal money from you.

He simply dumped you.

It happens to EVERYONE. And yes, it sucks the big one and I’m sorry it happened to you, but from my experience, it’s for the best. The universe might be trying to tell you something. What? I have no idea. You have to figure that out for yourself.

I will admit to overreacting to being dumped.  I was young and letting my ego get out of control. Luckily, it was before blogs and internets.

Here’s the other thing, every woman wants to be in a relationship. You’re lying to yourself if you weren’t considering it even on date one.  That doesn’t make a relationship the end all be all of your existence. It just enhances it.  There’s nothing wrong with being single and don’t let yourself tell you any different.