>Police Log

>

Please enjoy these items from the Sacramento Bee. As always, my comments in blue.

  • Roseville, burglary. A shoplifter made off with 22 bras from Victoria’s Secret after removing the security sensors and leaving them in a small satin display bag on the floor of the store’s beauty section. The theft occurred between 10 a.m. and 7 p.m. Jan. 31. The loss was estimated at $869. That’s about $40 a bra, just in case you were wondering. Obviously they weren’t padded in anyway or it wouldn’t have taken the clerks all day to realize that two dozen bras had gone missing.
  • Sand Court, Rocklin, break-in, theft. Someone broke a window on a 2003 Toyota RAV4 and stole a Bible from the back seat between 6 p.m. Jan. 29 and 6:45 a.m. Jan. 30. Nothing else was missing or disturbed. Suspect is said to have horns, a tail, a trident/pitchfork and could be wearing a red cape.
  • Stone Point Drive, Roseville, grand theft. Sod valued at $500 was stolen from five locations around two buildings at a construction site between 4 p.m. Jan. 22 and 4 p.m. Jan. 23. Check all the baseball fields in the area.
  • Fairway Drive, Rocklin, burglary. Someone broke into a Chevron station at 11:08 p.m. Friday and stole a carton of Marlboro cigarettes and a Red Bull energy drink. Suspect is said to have a mullet and wings.
  • 2271 Americana Drive, Roseville, vandalism. Someone threw a rock through a 4-by-4-foot window at Heritage Oak Elementary School at 2:10 p.m. Friday. The damage was estimated at $500. Mrs. Stanwick’s Kindergarten class is being held for questioning.

>Police Log – Sacramento Bee

>

  • The owner of a 1986 GMC Caballero saw someone trying to steal his vehicle at 8:30 p.m. Nov. 7 in the Kaiser Permanente parking lot. The car’s owner jumped into the path of the oncoming vehicle, and the driver accelerated. The victim jumped out of the way, but the vehicle hit his hand. The GMC was found later. Can someone explain to me the value of a GMC Caballero? $5,000 on a good day! Is it really worth jumping into the path of an oncoming vehicle? The vehicle is 20 years old! Let your insurance buy you a new one!
  • An Apple PowerBook laptop computer and an iPod were stolen from a makeshift sanctuary at Rocklin High School during Metro Calvary Church services between 10 a.m. and 12:45 p.m. Oct. 29. The loss was estimated at $5,450. A makeshift sanctuary? Quasimodo would be disappointed. And what were an iPod and laptop doing in a sanctuary? Does God have a podcast now?
  • Four tires were slashed and a rear window was destroyed on a 1997 white Ford Explorer between 9:30 p.m. Oct. 26 and 7 a.m. Oct. 27. The owner reported a loss of $850. I swear officer, I was no where near Rocklin on the night of the 26th!
  • Report taken, 100 block of Dains Court, a youth was given a shotgun shell while trick-or-treating. I guess that beats a rock or some pennies.
  • Annoying phone call, 700 block of Willard Drive, victim reported receiving annoying phone calls. I get annoying calls all the time, but you don’t see me calling 911 about it. Just don’t answer! Now, lewd calls are another issue entirely.

>Old West Police Log

>Please enjoy some excerpts from May 1869:

May 13 – Hell hath poured forth her minions upon us and the cities have selected their most infernal and desperate villains and sent them forth to a congress of thieves to our town, to commit their most hellish deeds and daring robberies. Scarcely a night passes but someone is robbed or a house broken into and plundered. The utmost surveillance upon the part of our worthy officers hold crime in check, so long as they are watching. We now fill 12 out of 16 cells in the county jail, and if justice were done to a large number of men in our community, twice as many cells would be occupied, and five gallows as well.

Could you please tell me what the heck that means? Where is my 1869 to 2006 translator? I guess it’s not so much a police log as it is a op ed piece.

May 13 – An attempt was made by a whelp in this town, who is well known, to blackmail Frank Pauson out of $200. In doing this he has disgraced himself, but he has always been too lazy to earn a respectable living anyway.

Apparently the guy wasn’t that well known. No one knows what his name is now.

May 15 – On Thursday night somebody stole a revolver from J.S. Lord. If there is any city in California that can show a stronger record for thievery than Truckee, we want to know about it.

Wow. The bitterness just doesn’t lose flavor over time does it?

May 29 – The man who has been in the calaboose for the last ten days, on a charge of being a participant in the robbery of Campbell’s Truckee Hotel cellar, broke out of jail on Wednesday night by digging his way out through the door with a chisel, which was given him by someone on the outside. The other prisoner, who was in on a charge of petty larceny, crawled out through the hole and went up town and got a drink and then returned to his cell; he thought that the free board was too good a thing to be missed.

Calaboose?!? Is that like a jail made from a train car or something?

>Police Logs from Northern California

>Courtesy of the Calaveras Enterprise:

July 13, 2006
11:08 p.m., West Point – Rocks lined up on road in front of reporting party’s residence. About 10 softball-sized rocks.

July 11, 2006

10:05 a.m., San Andreas – Wheelchair stolen.
10:48 p.m., Murphys – Bear in reporting party’s yard. Requesting deputy to scare it away. Bear was gone upon deputy’s arrival.

July 9, 2006

2:37 a.m., Copperopolis – Trespassers. Possibly attempting to take a horse.

July 8, 2006

9:14 a.m., Arnold – Thinks there may be someone with a ladder moving around behind houses in the area.
11:12 a.m., Murphys – Beaver won’t leave the suspension area of vehicle.
2:12 p.m., White Pines – Pit bull is swimming in the lake with kids. Irate female is threatening to harm the dog.

July 7, 2006
9:47 a.m., Murphys – Twenty-one-gun salute at Buena Vista Cemetery.
7:15 p.m., West Point – Large pig trespassing in the yard.

July 4, 2006
10:07 p.m., Copper Cove – Chow dog on the run from fireworks. Ended up on reporting party’s deck hungry and thirsty.

From the Grass Valley Union:

• At 3:54 a.m., a person came into the police lobby to complain about a convenience store clerk locking the door then being rude. The person said there was no criminal activity, but requested the department use its “peace officer powers” to resolve the issue. The person was advised a private business can open and close at the owner’s discretion, and although the clerk was rude, it was not a crime.

• At 12:46 p.m., a caller from the 900 block of Maidu Avenue reported a woman was causing a disturbance. A deputy arrived and she punched him in the stomach. The 59-year-old woman was arrested for battery on a peace officer.

• At 4:46 p.m., a caller from the 16400 block of Gibboney Lane reported a possibly rabid skunk had been in the yard for the past hour, stumbling around and unable to stand.

• At 6:16 p.m., a caller from the 100 block of West Berryhill Drive reported three juveniles were kicking what appeared to be a dead animal and were trying to put it in a bag. Police made contact with the juveniles, and the item was not a dead animal. They had dressed up a dummy and were making a film.

• At 6:17 p.m., a woman from the 600 block of Packard Drive reported she and her family were picnicking under a tent when an arrow tore through the canvass and landed on the table. No one was injured.

• At 9:49 p.m., a caller from Cordell Court reported hearing a sound like someone was yelling for help. It was unknown whether the sound was a parrot. The caller was concerned someone may be hurt. Deputies checked the area and were unable to locate the sound.

• At 10:52 p.m., a man called from the 18000 block of Waterfall Lane to report he returned home from church to find his goat was stolen. He requested extra patrol.

>Yet Another Source of Never Ending Humor

>Please enjoy these entries from the Sheriff’s Log in Calaveras county courtesy of the Calaveras Enterprise: My comments are in green.

April 30th

Noon, West Point – Person found a handgun while trimming weeds. So that’s where I left it!

5:29 p.m., West Point – Mule in reporting party’s front yard. Will contact Animal Services tomorrow. How many times do you have to come home to a mule in the front yard before you decide that something might be wrong with your mate?

5:59 p.m., Valley Springs – Reporting party never sees anyone, but there are always new tire tracks leading onto and off of their property. That sounds like a Stephen King novel to me.

6:54 p.m., West Point – Someone put up a “for sale” sign in front of property. Property is not for sale. Reporting party is very upset. Wow, talk about high maintenance.

April 29th

12:52 a.m., Copperopolis – Vehicles vandalized. Subjects vandalizing the vehicles turned out to be the owners. Insurance scam anyone?

4:15 p.m., Valley Springs – People are trying to move in on resident. Huh? Maybe these are the people who put up the “for sale” sign.

April 28th

9:20 a.m., San Andreas – Male in lobby of Sheriff’s Department is causing a ruckus. Is “ruckus” an official term?

6:45 p.m., Valley Springs – Paint balls in yard. Clean up after your own children. Don’t call the police about it.

>Police Logs

>* 2000 block of Marconi Avenue, arrest. Jamie M. Fox, 36, who is homeless, was arrested at 4:55 p.m. March 1 on suspicion of assault and battery. Come on! He’s got an Oscar and a song on the Top 40, how could he be homeless?

* 902 Caroline Ave., Galt, battery. A father reported that several children kicked his son in the backpack while he was wearing it. He had fallen on the ground on his way home from Fairsite Elementary School on Thursday when the attack occurred. Isn’t it pretty much implied that if you are kicked in the backpack, you are wearing it?

* 24580 Main St., Foresthill, arrest. A man was arrested at 9:30 a.m. Monday for allegedly striking another man over the head with a tree branch in front of the Sheriff’s Department substation. What’s funnier, the use of the tree branch or that the idiot committed the crime right in front of the police station?

* 3:21 p.m., an adult male was arrested at Round Table Pizza for an outstanding out-of-town warrant after being reported as having passed out at one of the tables. I think finding yourself being arrested because you passed out at a Round Table Pizza in the middle of the day is what is known as “rock bottom”.

* 10:54 a.m., several vehicles were reported for shooting a pigeon with a potato gun. I’d pay good money to see a vehicle shooting a potato gun, especially at a pigeon.

>Random Police Log Entries

>I’m bored at work, so I looked at the police logs from the Sierra Sun newspaper up in Truckee, California. These are some of the highlights over a few months time:

— At 6:35 a.m., officers responded to a call of a man passed out in the back of a van on River View Drive. His doors were open and his dogs were running around. He told officers he slept there after a fight with his girlfriend. He contained his dogs and moved on.

— At 8:32 a.m., a caller reported that someone had broken into his vehicle, but did not steal anything and left his gloves behind.

— At 8:55 a.m., a vandalism was reported in Tahoe Donner. Unknown subjects wrote the number “420” with construction glue on a house under construction and tipped over an outhouse further down the street.

— At 10:54 a.m., several vehicles were reported for shooting a pigeon with a potato gun.

— At 10:57 a.m., officers responded to the Bank of The West on Deerfield Drive after a subject threw a rock at the ATM machine when it refused to give him more money. The subject promised to pay the damages.

— At 11:00 a.m., a man came into the police station to report that another man had slapped him after he found out that he had reported him to environmental health for allegedly digging an illegal septic tank.

— At 12:22 p.m., a caller reported that her boyfriend had cut off his fingers and needed assistance. After receiving medical help from Tahoe Forest Hospital officers arrested the man for a felony warrant.

— At 3:21 p.m., an adult male was arrested at Round Table Pizza for an outstanding out-of-town warrant after being reported as having passed out at one of the tables.

— At 4:34 p.m., a caller reported that he was on his second story patio when the wind blew the door shut to his home, locking him out. He said the downstairs door was unlocked.

— At 6:40 p.m., a theft was reported on Donner Pass Road. Three white males in their early 20s ran out of the store with a $30 pair of white leather shoes and drove off in an older model red Honda with no hood.

— At 8:40 p.m., two people came to station to report that an ex-employee was writing lewd letters.

— At 9:18 p.m., a caller reported that he had arrived home to find his car halfway down his driveway with the lights on, and he had no idea how it had gotten there.