Your dream guy? Hank Hill

Posted on May 7, 2014 by Amy Ruiz Fritz

I spent a very large portion of my life thus far as a single, unattached gal. Dating pretty much sucks. Lately, I’ve been watching King of the Hill while trying to fall asleep and it dawned on me that Hank Hill is the ideal husband.

Ok, stop laughing. I’m serious.

Ideal husband qualities

Think about it. Hank is reliable. He knows how to fix stuff. He’s honorable. You could trust him with anything. He’s not going to beat you. He’s going to respect you. He likes beer, but he’s not a drunk. He doesn’t put up with stupid crap and will kick someone’s ass if need be.

When he needs to, he’ll take charge of a situation. He also judges people based on their character, something we should all do. He’s the guy people look to for help.

Granted, he’s not perfect, but perfect people are boring.

Yes, he’s a little closed minded and very conservative, but overall, he’s a good guy. That’s what really matters, being a good person.

Of course, Paul displays all of the good Hank qualities, as well as being the funniest person I know, but luckily, he’s more affectionate than Hank. Although, Hank might have been affectionate with his wife and we just didn’t see it.

I know finding a Hank Hill isn’t easy. Believe me. It took me decades to find Paul, but keep looking. Good guys are out there. You just have to keep looking.

A year in my life: Fortune favors the bold

Posted on April 13, 2014 by Amy Ruiz Fritz

A year ago today, I was at the airport in Sacramento picking up Paul. We were about to embark on the adventure of our lives because both of our lives were about to change drastically, but for the better. I was moving to Minnesota for love.

Yes, I was taking a huge risk, which some people probably thought was stupid or foolish. I had quit my stable job with bosses who appreciated me and my work and likely would have kept me around for as long as I wanted or needed. I enjoyed working with them too. They were very supportive, funny, and all around good people. But, something even better was in store for my life. I knew I had to take a chance. It felt right deep in my soul.

The move to Minnesota

We had set aside three nights to move my stuff and ourselves to Minnesota from Sacramento. It took us almost five. You can read the moving to Minnesota saga here:

Slowly, we settled into life with each other. There were small things we had to get used to, like sharing a bed with someone else. When you’ve spent your entire life sleeping alone, it can take some time to get used to sharing a bed. Now, it’s weird to go to bed without someone lying next to me. I noticed that the other day.

Life in Minnesota

Our comfort with each other isn’t a neglectful one that popular culture likes to portray about couples. It’s a settling into a happy life. Maybe it helps that both of us are in our 30s. OK, I’m almost 40, but my point is that we’re both fairly well adjusted adults who try to keep our egos in check. Something that makes for a boring romantic comedy.

Since moving to Minnesota, I’ve learned much about my newly adopted home. It’s full of interesting things to do and see, lots of fairs, festivals, and markets, as well as the second most popular state fair in the U.S. I’ve also survived one of the most brutal winters in the past 50 years. Overall, I’ve realized that you have to enjoy each moment you can. Life is short, so don’t waste it.

The past and the future

Two years ago, or even five years ago, I had no idea that my life would change so dramatically. I was utterly single and weary of dating. Dating is not for the faint of heart. You have to be able to take rejection much like a salesperson. Except, it’s not some product or service people are rejecting, it’s you. But, as painful as it was, it was for the best. It took a long time but I found the best guy for me.

Over the past year, we’ve shared many laughs and a few tears. We’ve grown closer with each passing day and I have never been so happy. Yes, that’s cliche, but it’s the truth.

I can’t wait to see what adventures we’ll have.

The Great Chillow Debacle

Posted on April 3, 2014 by Amy Ruiz Fritz

Back in the early 2000s, my best friend, Maria and I saw an ad for a Chillow. It sounded like a miracle! Who hasn’t woken up sweating because their body warmed up too much while sleeping? Just me? I’m a hot sleeper. The pillow is always too warm for me.

We laughed at the fact that you could buy one for pets too. Plus, the idea of a Chillow was just funny. Alluring, but funny nonetheless.

If memory serves me, Maria bought the Chillow. It seemed to work fine for her.

Fast forward to 2013 in the Mall of America. Paul & I are walking by the As Seen On TV store. Because I enjoy cheesy things, we went inside. There was a Chillow! I had flashbacks to the fun times I had with Maria in San Francisco.

Paul had been having hot nights…not just because I was sharing a bed with him, but because he’s a hot sleeper too. I don’t want to blame his issues with body heat regulation on his MS, mostly because I don’t know enough about his condition, but it concerns me.

Regardless, I thought the Chillow would be a good way for him to help regulate his heat and get better sleep, so I bought one for him.

Eagerly, I brought it home and followed the enclosed instructions. Hmm. That says 8 to 9 CUPS of water. That’s half a gallon of liquid. Just by looking at the Chillow, I couldn’t see how that much water would be held within its shell.

Please note my calibrated measuring container per the instructions.

Needless to say, it sprung a leak. I tried to repair it with duct tape, but it didn’t work, of course.

I followed the directions exactly as it stated. It’s funny that I went to the Chillow website to find said instructions, but couldn’t find them. The internet didn’t let me down though.

I don’t know if the manufacturing quality has gotten poorer or if I misread the instructions, but I don’t see how that thing would ever hold 8 cups of water. 3 or 4, maybe, but 8? Also, I don’t remember Maria mentioning how complicated it was to get the Chillow chilly.

By the way, punctures are not covered by their warranty. What if the instructions are just ridiculous? What if the product looks to be poorly made? Is that covered by warranty?

April Fool’s Day: Just stop.

Posted on March 31, 2014 by Amy Ruiz Fritz

You’re not funny. Someone had to tell you because you might be about to do something really stupid. You might be thinking of a great prank or joke to pull off this Tuesday, April Fool’s Day…just don’t. People who actually are funny, have a special talent. Not just anyone can be hilarious, then again TV and movies have set the bar pretty low, so I can understand why you might be confused.

And no, I don’t think I’m funny. I just say ridiculous things that roll around in my head.

Sure, most acting awards are for drama, but that’s because they are afraid of comedic actors. It is more difficult to be funny than it is to be dramatic. Have you seen people attempt to be funny? I rest my case.

Real humor is ever lasting. Do you know how old the “Who’s on first?” bit is? Old as shit. It’s still funny because of the delivery. Listen to the original recording. If it doesn’t crack you up, you might be dead.

I hate April Fool’s Day. I can’t take it when someone lies to me. It’s one thing if they are being sarcastic…”I feel like shit” is a lie, but most of us can accept it. No one knows what shit feels like or if shit has feelings at all, so that statement is really a lie.

Saying that you broke up with someone, are pregnant, or a family member died as a joke is just stupid. Don’t dump a bucket of glitter on your boss’ head and don’t lie to your friends about some major life event or tragedy.

Weddings with a Twist #TwitterLoveWed

Posted on March 28, 2014 by Amy Ruiz Fritz

Holy crap. I am a married woman and the world didn’t end. After my experience, I’m a big proponent of weddings with a twist…or two. That’s what we did…we put our personalities into the traditions and had fun while getting married.

Honestly, I had the time of my life. Yes, it was a bit of a blur, but I tried to enjoy every moment. The ceremony was really fast, but there were moments when I kept thinking to myself as the pastor (or whatever he was) performed the ceremony, “This guy is still talking. Why is he talking?”

I didn’t wear white. I wore a lovely turquoise and of course, my tiara. What better reason to wear a tiara?

Aside from the fact that the ceremony started almost half an hour late because the pastor dude was stuck in traffic (likely story), it went off without a hitch. Pun intended?

We wanted the experience to be a reflection of our personalities…not so much tradition. For processional music, Paul walked in to the Minnesota Rouser (insert Ski-U-Mah here), my bridesmaids walked in to Gimme Some Lovin’ by the Spencer Davis Group, and I came down the aisle to Best of My Love by the Emotions.

The moment I saw Paul at the altar, tears sprang to my eyes. The love I have for him is overwhelming. He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever met. I am the luckiest woman on earth to have found him. We have so much fun together and our wedding was no different.

After what seemed like a never ending photo session (our photographer was wonderful though) rife with Zoolander references, we finally arrived at the reception, the event I’d looked forward to the most.

We had it at this Italian restaurant in the Forum Shops, Carmine’s. Did I mention that we got married at Caesars? And it’s plural not possessive. I read somewhere that the guy who started the hotel wanted everyone to feel like a Caesar or something like that.

Regardless, this is the part where our personalities really shined through. I wanted everyone to be relaxed and have a good time. There was plenty of booze and food. As you can see from the photos, I made photo props to encourage others to take selfies with their phones and share them on instagram, facebook, or whatever their favorite social media platform might be. Plus, I created a hashtag to be able to find the posts and photos.

I had intended to post more thoughts and funny photos on the Twitter using the hashtag, but I was having so much fun in reality that I didn’t have time to share it virtually.

Even though it might not have been as many tweets and posts as I’d liked, I’m glad I shared the video of the ceremony and photos to social media. I know some of our friends and family who weren’t at the ceremony enjoyed the things they did see.

I’m glad we had a small wedding. I was able to visit with everyone and made sure I took photos with everyone too. If you look up the hashtag on the Twitter, you should be able to find most of my photos and probably a few shares of this post as well.

One thing I love about being a Gen-Xer: MTV Generation

Posted on March 16, 2014 by Amy Ruiz Fritz

One of the best things about my generation is MTV. Remember when MTV played videos? I think I started watching MTV in 1983…could have been 1982, but it’s a little fuzzy now. I was probably 8 or 9 years old when I saw my first video. Not sure what it was, but I distinctly remember when Van Halen’s Jump premiered on the channel.

Back then, it was awesome. There were no commercials. There were no reality shows. It was like watching a radio station. Some VJ would talk about random music news and then introduce a video. The introduction was pointless because the information was always in the bottom left hand corner.

It was a great way for bands to promote their songs/albums. I can’t tell you how many tapes I bought after watching the video.

Slowly, but surely, shows made their way into MTV’s programming. They were all music video based. There was Heavy Metal Mania/Headbangers Ball, 120 Minutes, Yo! MTV Raps, and the ever annoying Club MTV.

While I thoroughly enjoyed it, Remote Control was the death knell of MTV as we knew it. It was the first non-video show, at least that I remembered. Soon after more non-video programming found its way into MTV’s daily schedule.

Sadly, now MTV is a shell of its former self. Last time I checked the guide on the satellite, it was all reality TV all the time.

Even before the internet was a big thing, MTV had almost completely stopped showing music videos. Now I’m guessing the kids get their music videos on the You Tube.

It’s good and it’s kinda sad. It used to be a big deal to see your favorite band’s video. You never really knew when it was coming on and if you were lucky, you had a tape ready in the VCR to record it. Kids today get things on demand.

One good thing about today is that local bands can produce their own videos and get them on the internet with relative ease. Of course, I have no idea how one might find those videos, but then again I’m a Gen-Xer who is probably considered an old fogey by now…but I still enjoy the blazing sound of a well played guitar.

You can get a glimpse into MTV’s past by watching Totally 80s on VH1Classic. I get that same thrill of seeing a favorite video or sometimes a video I’ve never seen before for a song I enjoy. Sometimes you’ll even get the unedited, long form version which is like a mini-short movie.

What was one of your favorite videos?

Happy Pi Day!

Posted on March 13, 2014 by Amy Ruiz Fritz

Yes, you ready that correctly. It’s March 14th and that means it’s Pi day.

Don’t remember this mathematical constant? Dig deep in the recesses of your memory and bring up the geometry class in 9th grade (or whatever grade you were tortured by it). Remember how we calculate area and circumferences of circular stuff. We use Pi. And because Pi is 3.14 (yadda yadda yadda) and we all love a reason to have pastry, we celebrate 3/14 as Pi day…with pie. At least in the United States…maybe Canada?

According to Wikipedia, the first Pi Day was celebrated by a physicist at the Exploratorium in San Francisco in 1988. I’m not sure when I first started celebrating Pi Day. I think I first heard about it a couple of years ago.

I know last year I went to a fancy dessert place and got a slice of chocolate pie to celebrate. This year? I’ll be seeking out some pie somewhere. How will you celebrate Pi Day?

It seems like a good way to introduce a math discussion with your kids. Then again, I’m a nerd and enjoy nerdy things like math.