Super Bowl Shufflin’

Tower of cups & prop sheetsThe best place to watch the Super Bowl is in Las Vegas. The crowd is mostly men, so single ladies, you might want to check it out. Of course, you have to be able to stomach football, but there’s so much booze in Las Vegas that you should be able to handle it.

Plus there’s tons of other things to do in Vegas, shows, shopping, fine dining, people watching… Again, it makes it more enjoyable if you actually know a little about football. My dad loves the sport (most sports actually), so I have been saturated with it since I was a child.

Heck I remember when the 49ers won in the 80s. Well, I remember a bunch of people coming over to my parents’ house. Everyone was wearing red and there was lots of food.

But, as an adult, going to see the Super Bowl in Las Vegas is like one giant party. Most of the people there are grown ups. The douchebag ratio is fairly low. Granted, it’s not cheap, but odds are you can drink as much as you want and won’t get a DUI. There are cabs everywhere and most of the Strip is walkable. You don’t need to drive.

This year, I’ll be local and likely live tweeting while drinking lots of wine. Of course there will also be lots of snacks.  Super Bowl snacks are usually the best.

Why am I not going? I have to save up my money for my move to Minnesota. That will be better than any trip to Vegas I’ve ever had.

Manti Te’o Online Dating Gone Awry?

Here’s the one thing I’m sure of in this Manti Te’o situation.  Someone is lying.  Who, I’m not exactly sure.  Let’s examine what the media has finally decided to uncover.

Here are a few articles to read.  Feel free to Google more for yourself, but beware it’s a rabbit hole:

So, what do we know? A lot of crap.  Either this guy was duped or is a liar. Maybe a little of both? First of all, be it from the way these journalists write or the fact that they just don’t have the time to check facts, this guy possibly dated this chick for three years without ever meeting her in person.

Not once but twice after he supposedly discovered his online girlfriend of three years never even existed, Notre Dame All-American linebacker Manti Te’o perpetuated the heartbreaking story about her death.

That quote is from the AP article.  See what I mean?  The article says they started “dating” in 2012.  Well, he called her his girl friend in early 2012, but I suppose they could have been dating before that.  We all know how that can label can be fuzzy even when you meet in a bar or other traditional dating venue.

Everyone knows that the first rule of online dating is that it’s just a way to meet in real life.  If the person you are chatting up doesn’t ever seem to be able to meet in real life, you move on…quickly.  It’s a sign that something is amiss.

Now I know there are lonely people out there who want to believe that the person they’ve been interacting with for months is truly into them, but I have a difficult time believing a football player at a college like Notre Dame doesn’t have chicks flinging themselves at him on a regular basis.

Also, how could his friends not know that something weird was going on? They are there with him daily, right? Didn’t they go, “Um where is this girlfriend of yours?  Why isn’t she visiting you or you visiting her?”  Did none of his friends go, “Something’s not right with that woman you are dating, my friend.”

I can understand how he might have embellished the truth to his family.  He’s Mormon and might have had some pressure to get married, but just wasn’t having any luck, so he just told them what they wanted to hear to get them off his back.  I’m just speculating.  None of that could be true, but if it was the case, I think some of us could empathize.

Maybe it was a combination of him being scammed and him lying to his family about how much interaction he had with this person in real life.  Or maybe his dad did the embellishing, who knows?  Someone knows and it seems that no one is telling the truth.

It’s kind of like when you were a kid and someone misbehaved, but wouldn’t fess up to it, so your mom said, “Fine!  You’re all in trouble then!”  That’s how I feel, “Fine!  You’re all liars!”  No one wants to man up and tell the truth then everyone is in trouble.

Journalists are in trouble too.  Yes, I know you’re all overworked, underpaid and on the verge of being replaced by holograms, but does that mean you need to take what everyone says to you as the truth?  Did no one go, “Your grandmother and your girlfriend died within hours of each other?” (Raises eyebrow in skepticism) “That seems odd…”

Apparently not.  And sorry, but I really can’t trust what a college says these days, and a Catholic one is like a double whammy. I mean if colleges are willing to cover up the rape of little boys to protect their football programs, who is to say that they aren’t going to do whatever it takes to protect that same program when they find out a star player is involved in some ridiculous online dating scam and may or may not be lying about it?

My TV might be self-aware.

Recently, I noticed something odd. My parents have a TV in every room. That’s not what struck me as odd. It might be odd to you, but my dad’s nickname is Captain Video, so it seems normal to me.

Regardless, a couple of weeks ago, we were watching a movie on TBS or FX in the living room. Because my mom was doing something in the kitchen, she had the same movie on the same channel on the TV in the kitchen. The weird part…the TV in living room had a different commercial on it than the TV in the kitchen. THEY WERE ON THE SAME CHANNEL! What is this madness? Does DirecTV have the ability to decide which commercials go to which satellite receiver boxes?

I noticed this phenomenon happen while watching the NFL Mix channel. It’s that channel that shows all the NFL games (that aren’t blacked out) all at once on four to eight mini-screens. It was the time of the four games. Three of the four games were being shown on a Fox channel. It just so happened that they all went to commercial at the same time. Because they were all the same network, they were showing the same commercials…until one decided to show something different. Now, these weren’t all the exact same channel, like TBS, they were different Fox channels, so I can see that maybe the one channel had to show a Volkswagen commercial before the end of the second half and hadn’t gotten around to it or whatever.

But let’s get back to the crux of the matter, why and how is DirecTV showing different commercials on the exact same channel? I could see a different provider showing different commercials on the exact same channel. It makes sense that they have some control over the feed, but the same provider on the same channel? If that’s not spooky, I don’t know what is…

>Random Thoughts on the Rose Parade


Every New Year’s Day, we watch the commercial free broadcast of the Rose Parade on HGTV. Except this year. It’s not on New Year’s Day. It’s on today.

I remember when Paul James from Gardening by the Yard was the host. Apparently, he’s too quirky for HGTV now. In fact, I’m a little sad at the direction the channel has taken. It used to be this silly, quirky place on the dial where you could learn about decorating your house or taking care of your yard. Now it’s all about real estate. Lame.

Back to the parade, it’s all about the floats. Sorry horses and bands. You are just filler in between.

I’m watching this year’s broadcast and going, what the hell is this crap? A musical opening? That’s what I hate about the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Not enough actual parade too many musical interludes.

Ah, the Wells Fargo float. Where are the Occupy protestors? I know where they should be…protesting where the rich people are not where the 99% are trying to recover from a hangover. Yes, you know you people have a hangover today too.

Remember when the B-2 bomber was a secret? Now it’s probably outdated technology like a VCR. I mean why else is it showing up flying over Pasadena as part of the Rose Parade?

This thing is two hours long. No way I’m watching the whole thing and writing about it. You wouldn’t want to read all that crap anyway.

I missed the first float. Kenny G was on it, but I have no idea what it was because I was busy typing. I should probably do that when there’s a horse break.

Cal-Poly has a float? I thought public universities were struggling for funds. I hope that thing was financed by donations from alumni.

Sometimes I wonder about the themes. South Pasadena’s float is called When Life Gives you Lemons…and there’s a space ship on it. I can’t tell if the aliens crashed into a lemonade stand or crashed into a lemon grove and set up a lemonade stand. It’s too early for me to noodle through that one.

Am I just too tired or have these floats always been confusing? This one has a garden theme, but there’s like some flashy stars on the end.

What’s the theme again? Just imagine…It seems a little to broad.

Trader’s Joes float had something to do with hot lava? But it’s a red wagon made up to look like a pirate ship… did I misunderstand the announcers?

Seriously, are the parade organizers even paying attention to the ideas or are they just too busy to read through the papers describing the floats. I would hope someone has some oversight on that.

I’m shocked that Oregon doesn’t have fifteen different versions of their float in this parade…one for each of their uniforms.

Another thing I’m shocked about? We actually get this parade live instead of tape delayed.

>She meant to do that.

>I think I know why Christina Aguilera messed up the National Anthem.  It wasn’t because she was nervous, intoxicated or dumb.  My guess is that she was protesting against all the blatant unneeded flag waving throughout Fox’s Super Bowl pregame coverage.  Seriously, I was about to vomit stars & stripes if the Puppy Bowl wasn’t on to save my gut. 

By the time she sang the song, we had already been subject to a totally random interview with the President of the United States, a reciting of the Declaration of Independence and a rendition of Fox’s favorite song, America the Beautiful.  No, I’m sorry.  That channel’s favorite song is God Bless America, but they had used the rights to that all up during the World Series or baseball playoffs.  I tried to block that from my mind.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against using Americana as a marketing campaign, but only at the right times of year.  During a football game is just stupid.  It was so “hello video”.  For the kids, the term “hello video” I believe was coined by Wayne of Wayne’s World describing music videos that jump around and make no sense.  They would show the band singing at a concert then “hello!” they are dressed as robots attacking Chicago.

>Sunday is going to be super!

>For most of the past 10 years, I’ve gone to Las Vegas for the Super Bowl.  If you haven’t done this, I highly suggest it.  The party atmosphere is great, but it’s not out of control like I’ve heard about New Year’s Eve.  Most people are there because the combination of gambling, football, and drinking calls them.  Before the NFL decided that gambling is a no-no (but committing various felonies is OK), there used to be these great parties at every hotel.  You would pay $50 and get all the stadium food you could eat and booze you could drink.  Now, they aren’t allowed to charge you for a party, but they show the game in various venues and have food and drink to buy.  Similar, but apparently different enough to circumvent the NFLs weird rules.

Regardless, I completely enjoy the proposition bets.  Of course, I don’t usually make them, but I like guessing what will be the first score of the game (touchdown, field goal or safety), first team to call a timeout, and will the defense score?  And every year, they have bets that are unique to whatever the hell is going on in the world.  This year, I found a website with some pretty funny ones.  I personally enjoy “What Color will the Gatorade be that is dumped on the Head Coach of the Winning Super Bowl Team?”  I’ll take the lime green!

>Really, Pro Football?

>Players, you need to stop smoking crack or whatever drug you are on and get a dose of reality.

How much is the average base pay for an NFL player? I’l bet it’s about $500,000 a year/season at the lowest end of the spectrum.  And you guys are going to go on strike because of what? Health Insurance? Are you fucking kidding me?  Do you honestly expect any sane person to believe you can’t afford to pay for your own health insurance because you are living paycheck to paycheck?  Do you know how many millions of people are out of work right now?  Do you know how many employed people don’t have health insurance or have shitty coverage? 

I understand that you want your fare share of the profits that the NFL makes off your blood, sweat and tears.  And you should get it, but it’s very difficult for most of us to feel sympathy for you.  Maybe you’ve been spending too much time at strip clubs or maybe you’ve been sending too many inappropriate picture messages to notice that most of us are suffering from unemployment or are worrying that we could be unemployed at any moment.

And don’t think the owners are getting off that easy.  You really can’t pay for a guy’s health insurance?  Really? Don’t you have a team of doctors on staff?  How much does it cost you in the long run to take care of a dude that helped you make millions of dollars?  Aren’t the ratings for pro football in the crapper?  This stupid move isn’t going to help increase your revenue.

Both sides of this idiocy need to shut up and get over it.