What Stirs You? Create a Match.com Summer Singles Event and Win!

Match_logoA year ago, Match.com did something interesting to expand the world of online dating.  They took things offline with their Match.com’s Stir, offline singles events for Match.com members. In just one year…Match has hosted 2,850 events – broken down, that’s 14 events each day, 75 events a week, 320 events per month! Match has collaborated with over 1,200 venues and partners, including House of Blues, Banana Republic, Sur la Table and Warrior Dash, along with local gems in each city. Match is throwing singles events in over 80 cities across America – including events in Anchorage and Honolulu! Over 225,000 singles have attended a Stir event to date.

As we all know, online dating doesn’t really occur online.  The real magic happens offline.  Online dating is an efficient way to meet new people in real life.  Stir is Match.com’s answer to offline events, offering a wide range of activities to Match.com members around the country ranging from large-scale happy hours at popular venues, to more intimate events like tequila tastings and DJ lessons.

In celebration of the Stir anniversary, Match.com is offering the opportunity for singles to create their own Stir event, and if their event is chosen, to work with Match Stir event planners to bring it to life!

Visit Match.com’s “What Stirs You?” Contest Page, now through Tuesday May 28th, 2013 and tell Match.com what you think would make for the perfect singles event to be entered to win. Entries will be judged based on quality, creativity, uniqueness and geographical relevance.

The selected winner will have their idea re-created by the Match.com Stir Events team in their city, and will receive an invitation to attend the event along with ten of their singles friends – all at no charge! In addition, the winner will also receive a free six-month Match.com subscription.

 

Full Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Match.com

What time is it?

Time zonesSince I’m currently seeking employment, I don’t have a regular daytime routine.  Also, since I recently moved across two time zones and into a place with my boyfriend, I have quite a bit to get used to…many changes happened over the last week.  Not to mention that thing in Wyoming

The weather might be contributing to my confusion too.  It’s supposed to be spring, but there’s snow and it’s cold. But it stays light until 8:00 PM, which is very anti-winter.

For the past few days, my inner clock has been off.  My natural night owl is coming out.  My bedtime seems to hover around midnight.

Add to that when I look at the clock and see it’s 5:00 PM, my brain goes, “Wha? It feels like 2:00 PM.”

Call it jet lag (even though I didn’t fly) or maybe I just need a job so I can feel a sense of routine.  However, I am enjoying spending all this time with Paul. It might be driving him crazy, but he’s not showing it.  Did I mention he works from home? So, he’s grinding away at whatever it is he does, while I sit as quietly as I can on the couch searching on the web for some sort of career oriented task to make money to contribute to the household.

One good thing, I’m living in the Central Time Zone.  When I was a kid, I was jealous of the people who lived in this time zone.  They got to see all of the prime time shows an hour earlier than everyone!  8/7 Central? Not fair!

Now, I’m living the dream.  Well, living with Paul is my real dream, but being in the Central Time Zone is a big bonus.

Road Trip to Minnesota: Day One

You can follow our hashtag too!

You can follow our hashtag too!

Anyone who has ever moved as an adult hates packing.  Even though I purged and purged, I was still forced to leave crap behind in California.  The essentials, sadly not including wine, were all that would fit into my Beetle.

In a frenzy, I had to decide what was needed (clothes for job interviews) and what could wait, (wine, fancy shoes, and some toiletries).  Half way through Nevada, I realized that I should have stashed at least one or two bottles of wine in some nook and/or cranny.

The first leg of our trip took us to Salt Lake City, 10 hours of driving.  Here’s the thing, Nevada is REALLY boring outside of Reno and Las Vegas.  Also, I’m so goddamn tired of driving my car over mountain passes.  I’m looking forward to the flatness of Nebraska.  I say that now…

One awesome thing in Nevada is the Deeth Starr Valley exit.  At this point, you are probably delirious with boredom, so Deeth Starr is obviously Death Star.  Just look at the tips people have left:

social media, travel

star wars quote, social media, travel

OK, that’s funny regardless.

For the first time in my life, I had to drive while it was snowing.  It was just a snow shower and nothing was really sticking to the ground, but it was a first nonetheless.

Finally, around 10:00 PM we made it to Salt Lake City.  Apparently there were some salt flats we passed.  I don’t know what visual trick goes on in my brain, but it was reflective like water.  I guess there are flat surfaces on the NaCl that reflect light like water.  Sorry to get all science-y (and probably wrong) there.

The only thing that kept me from going crazy was Paul, of course.  We traded off the driving duties and tried to keep each other entertained.  It’s nice to have someone else in the car, especially someone who makes me laugh so much.  I’m not used to long drives without either being alone or surrounded by family.

 

P.S. When Paul arrived at the airport, this is how I greeted him:

sign, greeting, social media, love

I was the crazy lady wearing a tiara and holding a sign at the airport.  Hopefully, I inspired someone to be a little crazy in the name of love because it certainly makes for an interesting anecdote.

Goodbye, Sacramento. Hello, Minnesota

The past two weeks I have been experiencing a lot of endings. Today I am unemployed. Work is over until I can find a new job or a new job finds me. I’m OK with this because I need a little break. Yes, it’s slightly worrisome, but I have a lot of beginnings to focus on now.

Well, I have a few more endings…a last meeting of the minds with some friends, one last family dinner on Sunday until the holidays or so. But, they will also be beginnings in a sense. My friends and some of my family will meet Paul. Yes, he’s real…oh so very real! Sorry, I started to swoon there for a bit, but can you blame me? He’s the most romantic person I’ve ever known.

Anyway, I’m trying not to fret about our upcoming road trip to Minnesota. Did I mention we are driving out there? We leave on Monday and four days and three nights later we will be beginning our lives together in the Twin Cities. We just have to make it through the snow and rain first. Correction, my car has to make it through the possible freezing temperatures first. The nice thing is that I won’t be alone in this endeavor. I’m not used to having someone there to support me, to help me, to share the burden. Mautomobile, vintagey family is very supportive, but it’s not the same. I feel guilty when I have to rely on them for something, like I’m not behaving like an adult.

Regardless, I want to enjoy my time in the car with Paul. We will get to listen to tons of music. Talk about how boring the scenery is in Nevada. Tell stories from our pasts. Make each other laugh. Plan for the future. How many couples get to spend that much time alone together at their leisure? Seriously, all we have to do is get to the next hotel.

One nice thing, a friend of mine from high school lives in Wyoming and has graciously offered to put us up for the night. It will be great to be able to visit with her and take a break from the road for a bit. And guess what folks? That all happened due to social media.

Relationships 2.0

Relationship thoughts in a heart“That will change…”  I have heard this and other comments about my burgeoning relationship that are clearly a reflection of the talker’s own unhappiness with their relationship.

I have heard too many damn people try to tell me that I am going to fall into traditional roles in my relationship.  Apparently, these people know me and my boyfriend better than we know ourselves.  I am supposedly going to be doing his laundry, cooking for him, and cleaning the whole house like some woman from the mid-century.

Hello?  Why is this assumption being made in this day and age?

Both Paul and I are adults who have proven to the world that we are capable of surviving on our own.  He knows how to clean a bathroom and I know how to kill spiders.  Oh, and I can even put oil in my car and somehow he manages to cook for himself.  None of these things should be dependent on our gender.

Over the weekend, a Twitter friend of mine shared this interesting article with me about how same sex marriage is threatening traditional marriage.  Now, that statement is a bit misleading.  It’s threatening it in a good way.  It’s helping to breakdown these ridiculous roles based on gender.

I have always stated that there is no logical reason to think women are better at raising children than men.  There are some really awful mothers out there and some really wonderful fathers.  To assume one’s success at child rearing based solely on their gender isn’t logical.

This is the portion of the article that really stuck with me:

I am struck in listening to the opposition to same-sex marriage by the persistent denial that gender is a socially constructed role. This is a “traditional” view of marriage in the sense that it is grounded in “biology is destiny,” or specific roles assigned based on sex. It is an extremely narrow view of “marriage” based on specific roles assigned by sex, rather than marriage as an emotional and physical and social partnership between two individuals.   Most telling, it is a view that denies that heterosexual people can be in egalitarian marriages, or should be. It is a belief in “traditional” marriage as hierarchical. Not as a true partnership of equals, but as a microcosm of society with a power structure that flows from husband to wife to children.

That’s what I want in a relationship…to be one of two individuals in a social, physical and emotional partnership.  We support each other.  We recognize our strengths and weaknesses and help one another.  I don’t want to become a martyr because I somehow get stuck with the mundane household chores.  Honestly, I’m not that good at them in the first place.  And I don’t want to put Paul into a position where that happens to me…us.  Because that too seems to be a traditional role…a woman who is

It’s interesting that in this day and age, after so many decades of change, that traditional roles in a marriage or any relationship for that matter, still exist.  You would think that things would be more equal and mostly, they are, but there are still a few vestiges of the old ways that hang on for dear life.  I see them when someone tells me I’ll be doing my boyfriend’s laundry six months from now.

Total Bunk: An Open Letter to Susan A. Patton

heart with words in it

Love has no expiration date.

Flabbergasted. At first, when I heard about what you wrote in the Princetonean, I thought, “That has to be a joke. No woman with half of a brain and any sense of self-esteem would say those stupid things.”

Seeing no reference to The Onion, I grew angry.

There are so many things wrong with what you wrote. I’m not even sure where to begin since I’m overwhelmed with the stupidity of it all, but I’ll take a stab at pointing it out.

Regarding finding a man:

Simply put, there is a very limited population of men who are as smart or smarter than we are. And I say again — you will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you.

You can meet interesting people anywhere in the world at any point in time. To say that you really will only meet eligible men in college is completely ridiculous. And what one woman considers to be eligible, another considers to be a total jerk. A salary and education do not a good man make. It’s the content of his character, how he treats other people, that makes a man good. How many Ivy League educated men have gone to jail, cheat on their wives, or are otherwise not ethical or moral? Enough to make your theory ridiculous.

Men regularly marry women who are younger, less intelligent, less educated. It’s amazing how forgiving men can be about a woman’s lack of erudition, if she is exceptionally pretty.

Men want women who are dumber than they are? They forgive the stupidity if you are pretty?? Are you insane? Men who marry bimbos don’t make quality husbands. They are fools.

Another thing, men who go to college, Ivy League or not, are not necessarily smart. They are able to fill out Scantrons and pass classes, but that doesn’t make them intelligent. Some full blown idiots have graduated from universities and that includes the Ivy League, in fact one of them was President of the United States for a time.

My older son had the good judgment and great fortune to marry a classmate of his, but he could have married anyone. My younger son is a junior and the universe of women he can marry is limitless.

Anyone can marry anyone! OK, I take that back, if you are gay you can’t marry anyone, but you see my point.

Here is another truth that you know, but nobody is talking about. As freshman women, you have four classes of men to choose from. Every year, you lose the men in the senior class, and you become older than the class of incoming freshman men. So, by the time you are a senior, you basically have only the men in your own class to choose from, and frankly, they now have four classes of women to choose from. Maybe you should have been a little nicer to these guys when you were freshmen?

Why are you pitting women against each other like getting married is some sort of competition? You are perpetuating the myth that if a woman isn’t married by a certain age, she’s shit out of luck and might as well give up. Also, your message is basically telling young women if you aren’t married at all you are a lesser person. Would you seriously tell your daughters that if you had any? That’s fucked up. No, I’m not pardoning my French on that sentiment.

Do you really want to feed into the fears of women who are already struggling with their identity in a sexist world? I know this may come as a shock to you, but there are millions of women who are single, past the age of 25, and completely happy. There are also women over the age of 35 who date and marry younger men.

What advice you should be giving Princeton women is none. Relationship advice is total bunk. What works for you doesn’t work for everyone and that’s the honest truth.

Wait, you know what you should be telling women?  There is someone out there for everyone.  Funny how you never went there.